RIO's JUNE E-ZINE
(May cause enjoyment, view at your own risk)
RIO at the Bridgeland Community Centre

RIO hit the Bridgeland Community Centre to spread the joy of commercial making and words. Check out the wonderful ads by our new friends from Bridgeland.
NEW PRODUCTS ALL THE WAY FROM BRIDGELAND!
RIO's Theme Song!

RIO RULES THE WORLD
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We are the smoothie knights
We play Dungeon’s and Dragons
Once we reach level nine
The princess will DIE
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We own the company
We sell invisible pants
We make great commercials
That encourage bromance!
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We eat sugar
Lots and lots of sugar
We write occasionally
And we create insanity!
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We are the smoothie knights
We play Dungeon’s and Dragons
Once we reach level nine
The princess will DIE
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We own the company
We sell invisible pants
We make great commercials
That encourage bromance!
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
We eat sugar
Lots and lots of sugar
We write occasionally
And we create insanity!
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
Look into our minds
Play with your words
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
Spreading craziness
RIO rules the world
We’re mad basement dwellers
RIO rules the world
We are world famous!
Definition of the Month:
Bromance - The friendship between Bros that may or may not result in the playing of peek-a-boo.
*See RIO's March issue (Romance That's Romantic) for more information.
*See RIO's March issue (Romance That's Romantic) for more information.
Stay tuned for a live recording of RIO RULES THE WORLD - coming soon to a computer near you.

Mary Jean Uszy AKA MJ Diva, helping us learn about songwriting and theme songs.
Check her out here: www.youtube.com/MJDivaRGB. And come and learn under her at our Dramantics Theatre Camp (she's also a talented director and theatre teacher! We only ask the most amazing people to teach at RIO)
Check her out here: www.youtube.com/MJDivaRGB. And come and learn under her at our Dramantics Theatre Camp (she's also a talented director and theatre teacher! We only ask the most amazing people to teach at RIO)
The Sailor’s Space Sock Predicament by Emily Firmston

“Captain,” said 4.20 mark 3.
“What!” I snap at him.
“Sock down!”
“Again! Okay, that’s it!”
“But Red…” Blue Bobby says, sadly. “Maybe the Corin frog-giraffe version of washing machine eats socks. It might be a special fe—”
“Enough!” I shout at her, my blood red mandibles flashing in the light of the solar lamps. I am from the planet Pyro, although I am not fully Pyrinian, mother was an Earthling, my scarlet eyes show it. Or my eyes would be black and bug like, as Dad’s are. Blue Bobby bows her head, tears rubbing off her blue eye shadow. She is my only crew if you don’t include our slave robot 4.20 mark 3, Mark for short.
“Gimme a micro camera that works and a sock, or someone gets hurt!” I say, pulling out my ray gun, the smell of cinnamon coming
off me, the smell of my own rage.
“What do you need a camera for?” Blue Bobby snivels.
“To track the bilge sucking shark bait that’s stealing my socks!”
By the time I get a working hidden camera, two more socks get stolen.
“Never from the same pair though,” says Mark holding up two different socks.
“Okay, put it in,” I say.
Every stand around and stares at me. I angrily stuff the camera in the sock, throw it in the washer and start a load.
“What is the use of a slave robot if I have to do everything around here?”
Blue Bobby and Mark shrug. The washer sparks and smokes and spits out a charred sock. I pick up the smoldering sock and listen to it crackle. I give it a poke with my long red claw and it turns to ashes. From behind me I hear, “That was a nice try. But did you get a water resistant camera?”
“No, I didn’t get a water resistant camera!” I shout in the voice’s general direction.
“What are you yelling at me for?” Mark says, “I said, that was a nice try.”
“Well who said, but did you get a water resistant camera?” Blue Bobby asks.
“The washer,” says the washer.
“Yeah, it was,” says Mark, nodding vigorously.
“Like I believe that,” I scoff.
“Well believe it, Dearie,” says the washer, in a deep, tauntingly familiar voice.
Blue Bobby massages her head. “Don’t call her, Dearie. For all of our sakes, don’t call her, Dearie.”
“DEARIE! I’m a proud Pyrinian. Buccaneer of the stars. Captain of the most feared ship in the universe. DEARIE!” The entire ship is filled with the smell of burning cinnamon. I run my fingers through my red-brown hair. It sparks, threatening to burst into flames.
“Told you. R…R...Red, your eyes!” Blue Bobby points, backing away.
“What about my eyes?”
Blue Bobbie stutters. “They’ve grown bigger. And, and . . . they’ve turned black. Like a . . . a . . .”
I pull my ornate mirror from my back pocket and to my disbelief she is right. “But I’m not fully Pyrinian,” I say, confused.
“Ahh, she looks just like me. I’m so proud,” says the washer.
Mark raises a set of LED’s above his right eye. “Oh, and she is definitely made of metal. And . . And she looks like a Corin
frog-giraffe.”
“Blue Bobby,” the washer continues, “you look like my best friend.”
“I don’t look like a dryer,” Blue Bobby sobs.
Mark looks Blue Bobby up and down. “Since it’s the Corin frog-giraffe set, you kind of do.”
“Just because I’m related to a Corin frog-giraffe, doesn’t mean I am one.”
“Okay!” I yell.
Mark and Blue Bobby keep chatting.
“Get a water proof camera! Put it in a sock! And try again until we get that swashbuckling swog!”
The ignore me.
“Put a sock in it!” I scream.
“But robots don’t wear socks.”
“And mine are missing,” Blue Bobby cries.
We pillage seven planets and twelve starships looking for a camera. Finally we come across one.
“Okay, now we are ready,” says Mark.
“This time work,” I say.
We throw in our last remaining sock with the camera. Almost instantly the sock comes out shredded. We watch the video. All we see is a sliver blade shredding the sock.
“Darn it,” says Blue Bobby.
“Get the shrink ray!” I shout.
Once I get it working by hitting it on a table a few times, Blue Bobby shrinks me to the size of an Atinian moth-wasp. “Ready?” asks Blue Bobby
“Time to get that rum filled scallywag!”
Blue Bobby tosses me into the washer. The now vast machine fills with water, but before it’s entirely filled, a hatch opens at the back and a HUGE person picks me up. I’m not sure who it is or if it’s even a boy or a girl. And then I start growing.
“Oh that stupid, cheap, Company stuff! Not worth a Space Captain’s time!” I mutter.
Soon I am my full size and I see that the man, whose hand I am now stepping on, is Pyrinian. He is about in his early thirties, and has the same colour of hair as me.
“Dad?”
“Rickey!”
“Why are you stealing my socks?”
“I knew it would make you very angry.”
“Why do you want me angry? No one else wants me angry.”
“To turn you fully Pyrinian, of course. In fact it would be great to see your hair burst into flames too. Always a good
show!”
“Where’s your ship, Dad?”
“Sadly it got blown up.”
“Ach! It wasn’t a very good ship anyway. It was old and saggy and tattered, and it didn’t smell nice.”
“What’s wrong with the smell of three week old clam chowder?” Dad’s hair catches fire.
“Nothing,” I squeak. “You could be my crew.”
“Do you have room?”
I think of Blue Bobby and Mark. “We can make space.”
Dad sticks out his hand. “Deal,” he says.
We crawl back through the washer.
“Guess who’s in the crew!” I shout.
“Oh no!” Blue Bobby cries.
“Not another one.” Mark mutters.
They exchange worried glances. I just smile and say. “Raise the mizzen’s solar sail. Put the engines on turbo
drive. Let’s start a super nova!”
Nobody moves.
“And if you don’t listen,” I pull out my atomic blaster. “Dead men tell no tales!”
“What!” I snap at him.
“Sock down!”
“Again! Okay, that’s it!”
“But Red…” Blue Bobby says, sadly. “Maybe the Corin frog-giraffe version of washing machine eats socks. It might be a special fe—”
“Enough!” I shout at her, my blood red mandibles flashing in the light of the solar lamps. I am from the planet Pyro, although I am not fully Pyrinian, mother was an Earthling, my scarlet eyes show it. Or my eyes would be black and bug like, as Dad’s are. Blue Bobby bows her head, tears rubbing off her blue eye shadow. She is my only crew if you don’t include our slave robot 4.20 mark 3, Mark for short.
“Gimme a micro camera that works and a sock, or someone gets hurt!” I say, pulling out my ray gun, the smell of cinnamon coming
off me, the smell of my own rage.
“What do you need a camera for?” Blue Bobby snivels.
“To track the bilge sucking shark bait that’s stealing my socks!”
By the time I get a working hidden camera, two more socks get stolen.
“Never from the same pair though,” says Mark holding up two different socks.
“Okay, put it in,” I say.
Every stand around and stares at me. I angrily stuff the camera in the sock, throw it in the washer and start a load.
“What is the use of a slave robot if I have to do everything around here?”
Blue Bobby and Mark shrug. The washer sparks and smokes and spits out a charred sock. I pick up the smoldering sock and listen to it crackle. I give it a poke with my long red claw and it turns to ashes. From behind me I hear, “That was a nice try. But did you get a water resistant camera?”
“No, I didn’t get a water resistant camera!” I shout in the voice’s general direction.
“What are you yelling at me for?” Mark says, “I said, that was a nice try.”
“Well who said, but did you get a water resistant camera?” Blue Bobby asks.
“The washer,” says the washer.
“Yeah, it was,” says Mark, nodding vigorously.
“Like I believe that,” I scoff.
“Well believe it, Dearie,” says the washer, in a deep, tauntingly familiar voice.
Blue Bobby massages her head. “Don’t call her, Dearie. For all of our sakes, don’t call her, Dearie.”
“DEARIE! I’m a proud Pyrinian. Buccaneer of the stars. Captain of the most feared ship in the universe. DEARIE!” The entire ship is filled with the smell of burning cinnamon. I run my fingers through my red-brown hair. It sparks, threatening to burst into flames.
“Told you. R…R...Red, your eyes!” Blue Bobby points, backing away.
“What about my eyes?”
Blue Bobbie stutters. “They’ve grown bigger. And, and . . . they’ve turned black. Like a . . . a . . .”
I pull my ornate mirror from my back pocket and to my disbelief she is right. “But I’m not fully Pyrinian,” I say, confused.
“Ahh, she looks just like me. I’m so proud,” says the washer.
Mark raises a set of LED’s above his right eye. “Oh, and she is definitely made of metal. And . . And she looks like a Corin
frog-giraffe.”
“Blue Bobby,” the washer continues, “you look like my best friend.”
“I don’t look like a dryer,” Blue Bobby sobs.
Mark looks Blue Bobby up and down. “Since it’s the Corin frog-giraffe set, you kind of do.”
“Just because I’m related to a Corin frog-giraffe, doesn’t mean I am one.”
“Okay!” I yell.
Mark and Blue Bobby keep chatting.
“Get a water proof camera! Put it in a sock! And try again until we get that swashbuckling swog!”
The ignore me.
“Put a sock in it!” I scream.
“But robots don’t wear socks.”
“And mine are missing,” Blue Bobby cries.
We pillage seven planets and twelve starships looking for a camera. Finally we come across one.
“Okay, now we are ready,” says Mark.
“This time work,” I say.
We throw in our last remaining sock with the camera. Almost instantly the sock comes out shredded. We watch the video. All we see is a sliver blade shredding the sock.
“Darn it,” says Blue Bobby.
“Get the shrink ray!” I shout.
Once I get it working by hitting it on a table a few times, Blue Bobby shrinks me to the size of an Atinian moth-wasp. “Ready?” asks Blue Bobby
“Time to get that rum filled scallywag!”
Blue Bobby tosses me into the washer. The now vast machine fills with water, but before it’s entirely filled, a hatch opens at the back and a HUGE person picks me up. I’m not sure who it is or if it’s even a boy or a girl. And then I start growing.
“Oh that stupid, cheap, Company stuff! Not worth a Space Captain’s time!” I mutter.
Soon I am my full size and I see that the man, whose hand I am now stepping on, is Pyrinian. He is about in his early thirties, and has the same colour of hair as me.
“Dad?”
“Rickey!”
“Why are you stealing my socks?”
“I knew it would make you very angry.”
“Why do you want me angry? No one else wants me angry.”
“To turn you fully Pyrinian, of course. In fact it would be great to see your hair burst into flames too. Always a good
show!”
“Where’s your ship, Dad?”
“Sadly it got blown up.”
“Ach! It wasn’t a very good ship anyway. It was old and saggy and tattered, and it didn’t smell nice.”
“What’s wrong with the smell of three week old clam chowder?” Dad’s hair catches fire.
“Nothing,” I squeak. “You could be my crew.”
“Do you have room?”
I think of Blue Bobby and Mark. “We can make space.”
Dad sticks out his hand. “Deal,” he says.
We crawl back through the washer.
“Guess who’s in the crew!” I shout.
“Oh no!” Blue Bobby cries.
“Not another one.” Mark mutters.
They exchange worried glances. I just smile and say. “Raise the mizzen’s solar sail. Put the engines on turbo
drive. Let’s start a super nova!”
Nobody moves.
“And if you don’t listen,” I pull out my atomic blaster. “Dead men tell no tales!”
Daddy Dearest by Lelainna Dahl
Daddy where did you go?
Why won’t you come home, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why don’t you love me?
Why won’t you wipe my tears, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why have you been gone so long?
Why won’t you hug me, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why does Mommy hate you?
Why did you lie, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy dearest you were no father to me.
Why won’t you come home, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why don’t you love me?
Why won’t you wipe my tears, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why have you been gone so long?
Why won’t you hug me, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy why does Mommy hate you?
Why did you lie, Daddy?
Oh I miss you so.
Mommy, where is Daddy?
Why doesn’t he call?
Oh I miss him so.
Daddy dearest you were no father to me.