Summer E-Zine
The Hottest Issue Yet!
Thank you to our guest Editor, Alexis Kelly. The E-Zine is now going to four issues a year. See you in October for our Fall E-Zine!
Flying by Elena Zeineddine
I stumble and
c
r
a
s
h
Believing that I'm fine
I get up and fly.
c
r
a
s
h
Believing that I'm fine
I get up and fly.
Bacteri-yuck (An Apocalyptic Dialogue)
By RIO Crowfoot
I open the doors of the now abandoned UN Headquarters, and I see a mime, two robots and something that looks like a sentient yogurt tub. Unsure if I'm hallucinating a study of the robots and ooh! yes! One of the robots has wifi. I whip out my computer. The wifi has a password - naturally - but it only takes me two second to crack. I send a quick message to my communist friends before my cousin elbows me. Uhm, we have a situation!
B.O.B: Ya like Jazz?
Danone: For no! B.O.B
B.O.B: TOO Bad. (plays jazz)
Danone: Not applicable (jabs at jazz music with a spork)
R4-D2: That might work I could do it we just need to find the higher life form; a droid. Post…
Shada: Maybe we can use Jazz to cure the Earth.
Talia: Jazz sucks, I recommend negative cubed squared equals awesome! There debut album should have won the Pulitzer Prize!
Jenny: OK, sure, I really don’t care cause we’re obviously gonna DIE SOON!
R4-D2: Found post while you were all busy doing nothing, now to see if it works… - REBOOT – ugh the problem is solved.
Zalia: Hey dragon, you wouldn’t mind incinerating anyone if need be?
Braze: I wouldn’t mind incinerating you thing!
Un-Known: I’m a robot. You can’t incinerate me!
Talia: Yes I can! You see, the cross between my pig and dragon DNA make it so that I can BURN METAL AND DESTROY YOU..
Mime: Stab the disease!
Jenny: That could work, but it wouldn’t solve the long term. Maybe come up with a disease-destroying machine?
Mime: Dynamite.
Blaze: My fire balls (looks sly)
Shada: Or we could attach explosives to the giant cat and we’ll have a giant explosion. Kill the cat – kill the problem.
Talia: I have an idea! I’m going to contact my Soviet friends and start the Communist takeover!
Shada: The great, glorious, all powerful Lenin?
Danone: What? Fork? Bird person fork?
Zalia: Who cares about politics when the politicions are dead? Idiots!
Talia: How are you going to dole out justice without politicians and the KGB watching our every move! That’s why we need politicians!
Danone: Lenin Zalia.
Zalia: Who’s that? Lenine, never heard of him.
Shada: Yogurt dude… aren’t you made from the beautiful cultures that caused this mess?
Danone: No shotgun person, it not me got a fork.
Shada: Sure… and I got a B in math.. how about you be useful and find a solution?
Mewinburg: I think the yogurt guy started all of this yet I think the mime started killing people.
Mime: No I didn’t kill anybody.
Zalia: well whoever did it, thank you. If we all self-quarantined everyone infected would die. The ideal solution.
B.O.B: Chillax, buddy.
R4-D2: Let’s quarantine people in locked rooms, which I can kill them in, and let the droids rule the world.
Skal: UHM WHAT? NO, MY VOICE CANNOT BE HEARD FROM THE DEPTHS OF A LOCKED ROOM! THE SOLUTION IS 7-11. TURN THE INTERNET ON NOW.
B.O.B: Fine.
Mime: Stab the internet with sword.
Jenny: No! If we stab the internet that’s one less resource! We have almost nothing to save the world, we don’t need any less.
R4-D2: Don’t stop my dreary and sad shows and also B.O.B caused this so we should not kill him right now.
Un-Known: R4-D2 internet means more happiness and makes more people make internet and save the world so you can have more victims.
R4-D2: Oh, I could spam people and cause so much sorrow. Let’s hack B.O.B up to a satellite and fix this… now how to do it.
Bird Man: We need to create a portal of some sort…
Mewinberg: Start the internet so I can show you my plan.
B.O.B: I already did.
Zalia: Quarantine!
Jenny: Is that the yogurt caused this apocalypse.
R4-D2: I bet so, let’s go congratulate the creator.
B.O.B: Go kill yourself. Let me say that in Dr. Who words. Exterminate, annihilate, destroy.
Talia: No violence! We are the last survivors and we cannot afford to argue (before the communist revolution begins!)
Blaze: (sighs) So be it.
R4-D2: Ugh this is so boring, B.O.B all your contributions are worthless, except the virus.
Shada: Why don’t we reverse engineer the culture in robots to create an antidote?
Mime: NO
Un-Known: Hey B.O.B, what are your cultures? If you tell me I will give you a fork.
Danone: Yogurt people. Gimme!
Un-Known: What?
Jenny: There are two types of people in the world… the productive and those who want to watch the world burn. We’ll create a machine using the bacteria of the yogurt, which will destroy the bacteria.
R4-D2: Well the world is doomed. Let’s watch Netflix.
Talia: I recommend “A Series of Unfortunate Events”
R4-D2: Oh, that’s sad and dreary I love it.
Talia: Me too! Where are you?
R4-D2: Stuck with everyone in this dreary space.
Shada: And I think I have a concussion because I’m seeing a crossdressing and bred dragon…
Zalia: I’ve never heard anything quite so noisy!
Shada: Me or the dragon thing?
Sir Knightsalot: SHE IS CLEARLY TALKING ABOUT ME!
B.O.B: Dadgummit.
Zalia: Insufferable.
Jenny: I have to agree.
Talia: I am not a crossdressing dragon, I am a dragon bred with a pig! Get it right people!
Blaze: Why is this important?
Un-Known: I don’t know ask the smart pig
Blaze: Please do ask her
Un-Known: Pig fix this. Pigs are smart!
Talia: Too busy watching Netflix
B.O.B: Boi!
Bird Man: Great, everything is just great. Anyone have any seeds? They help me think.
R4D2: I have Disney pins!
B.O.B: And I have a chunk-o-chicken
Shada: And I have a plan! Kill the bacteria – kill the problem.
Jenny: Smart! Kill it with the dragon’s fire!
Blaze: Yay! I like you thing.
Mime: Can I kill the bird man for food?
Jenny: As we are supposed to be SAVING the world, not causing more disruption... no.
R4D2: Let’s kill him as... wait he seems to hate people, so let’s kill him Shada, I’m bored.
Mime: Nobody is going to kill him because I have a solution to our problem. Drain the disease down the toilets.
BOB: Yeah, doofus.
Blaze: We need to find the thing to save the world.
Shada: Why don’t we just turn the world on and off again?
Mime: No.
BOB: You know what, eat tide pods and chill.
Sir Knightsalot: Hello Sir and/or Madam, are you part of 7-Eleven’s reward program?
Zalia: We discussed this on the trip. I hate having to do with more people.
Sir Knightsalot: But you could save so much money. Here, I’ll get you an application form.
Zalia: Anyone else find him insufferable? ANYONE!
BOB: Anyone want to look at memes?
Shada: Maybe there’s a hidden message in the memes as to how we can save the Universe.
Jenny: I don’t doubt it... clues are always found in the weirdest places.
Danone: Money? For fork cat dude.
Mewinberg: We can stop it if we eat the yogurt guy.
No name: Yes! Kill him! Mr. Mime, can you not try not to eat the yogurt is much more nutritious.
Mime: No!
Shada: I thought mimes don’t talk... did you fail mime school?
Jenny: So instead of judging, maybe we could try to work together to save the world?
Un-Known: Never. Anarchy is the best move kids.
Jenny: Uhm, okay. Maybe not so easy to work together.
Mime: Blow up the Earth and move to the moon.
Shada: The moon is uninhabitable. The mime should move there and the rest of us can establish the first colony on Mars.
Danon: Yes Ma’am.
Mime: No the moon is more hospitable.
Danone: Yo Knight, you got a fork?
Sir Knightsalot: No, but I wish I has my battle axe1
Danone: BOB, fork.
BOB: Dough.
Danone: Sweet Jennifer, fork.
Jenny: Uhm, no?
Sir Knightsalot: What do you need a fork for, good sir?
Danone: Knight! To eat yogurt dude! Jenny fork you.
Sir Knightsalot: Could you eat it with a fork?
Danone: Dough boy, ya need Lenin to restart the Earth!
SKAL: Lenin? My good sir, please explain.
Danone: Knife because I said so.
Danone: For no! B.O.B
B.O.B: TOO Bad. (plays jazz)
Danone: Not applicable (jabs at jazz music with a spork)
R4-D2: That might work I could do it we just need to find the higher life form; a droid. Post…
Shada: Maybe we can use Jazz to cure the Earth.
Talia: Jazz sucks, I recommend negative cubed squared equals awesome! There debut album should have won the Pulitzer Prize!
Jenny: OK, sure, I really don’t care cause we’re obviously gonna DIE SOON!
R4-D2: Found post while you were all busy doing nothing, now to see if it works… - REBOOT – ugh the problem is solved.
Zalia: Hey dragon, you wouldn’t mind incinerating anyone if need be?
Braze: I wouldn’t mind incinerating you thing!
Un-Known: I’m a robot. You can’t incinerate me!
Talia: Yes I can! You see, the cross between my pig and dragon DNA make it so that I can BURN METAL AND DESTROY YOU..
Mime: Stab the disease!
Jenny: That could work, but it wouldn’t solve the long term. Maybe come up with a disease-destroying machine?
Mime: Dynamite.
Blaze: My fire balls (looks sly)
Shada: Or we could attach explosives to the giant cat and we’ll have a giant explosion. Kill the cat – kill the problem.
Talia: I have an idea! I’m going to contact my Soviet friends and start the Communist takeover!
Shada: The great, glorious, all powerful Lenin?
Danone: What? Fork? Bird person fork?
Zalia: Who cares about politics when the politicions are dead? Idiots!
Talia: How are you going to dole out justice without politicians and the KGB watching our every move! That’s why we need politicians!
Danone: Lenin Zalia.
Zalia: Who’s that? Lenine, never heard of him.
Shada: Yogurt dude… aren’t you made from the beautiful cultures that caused this mess?
Danone: No shotgun person, it not me got a fork.
Shada: Sure… and I got a B in math.. how about you be useful and find a solution?
Mewinburg: I think the yogurt guy started all of this yet I think the mime started killing people.
Mime: No I didn’t kill anybody.
Zalia: well whoever did it, thank you. If we all self-quarantined everyone infected would die. The ideal solution.
B.O.B: Chillax, buddy.
R4-D2: Let’s quarantine people in locked rooms, which I can kill them in, and let the droids rule the world.
Skal: UHM WHAT? NO, MY VOICE CANNOT BE HEARD FROM THE DEPTHS OF A LOCKED ROOM! THE SOLUTION IS 7-11. TURN THE INTERNET ON NOW.
B.O.B: Fine.
Mime: Stab the internet with sword.
Jenny: No! If we stab the internet that’s one less resource! We have almost nothing to save the world, we don’t need any less.
R4-D2: Don’t stop my dreary and sad shows and also B.O.B caused this so we should not kill him right now.
Un-Known: R4-D2 internet means more happiness and makes more people make internet and save the world so you can have more victims.
R4-D2: Oh, I could spam people and cause so much sorrow. Let’s hack B.O.B up to a satellite and fix this… now how to do it.
Bird Man: We need to create a portal of some sort…
Mewinberg: Start the internet so I can show you my plan.
B.O.B: I already did.
Zalia: Quarantine!
Jenny: Is that the yogurt caused this apocalypse.
R4-D2: I bet so, let’s go congratulate the creator.
B.O.B: Go kill yourself. Let me say that in Dr. Who words. Exterminate, annihilate, destroy.
Talia: No violence! We are the last survivors and we cannot afford to argue (before the communist revolution begins!)
Blaze: (sighs) So be it.
R4-D2: Ugh this is so boring, B.O.B all your contributions are worthless, except the virus.
Shada: Why don’t we reverse engineer the culture in robots to create an antidote?
Mime: NO
Un-Known: Hey B.O.B, what are your cultures? If you tell me I will give you a fork.
Danone: Yogurt people. Gimme!
Un-Known: What?
Jenny: There are two types of people in the world… the productive and those who want to watch the world burn. We’ll create a machine using the bacteria of the yogurt, which will destroy the bacteria.
R4-D2: Well the world is doomed. Let’s watch Netflix.
Talia: I recommend “A Series of Unfortunate Events”
R4-D2: Oh, that’s sad and dreary I love it.
Talia: Me too! Where are you?
R4-D2: Stuck with everyone in this dreary space.
Shada: And I think I have a concussion because I’m seeing a crossdressing and bred dragon…
Zalia: I’ve never heard anything quite so noisy!
Shada: Me or the dragon thing?
Sir Knightsalot: SHE IS CLEARLY TALKING ABOUT ME!
B.O.B: Dadgummit.
Zalia: Insufferable.
Jenny: I have to agree.
Talia: I am not a crossdressing dragon, I am a dragon bred with a pig! Get it right people!
Blaze: Why is this important?
Un-Known: I don’t know ask the smart pig
Blaze: Please do ask her
Un-Known: Pig fix this. Pigs are smart!
Talia: Too busy watching Netflix
B.O.B: Boi!
Bird Man: Great, everything is just great. Anyone have any seeds? They help me think.
R4D2: I have Disney pins!
B.O.B: And I have a chunk-o-chicken
Shada: And I have a plan! Kill the bacteria – kill the problem.
Jenny: Smart! Kill it with the dragon’s fire!
Blaze: Yay! I like you thing.
Mime: Can I kill the bird man for food?
Jenny: As we are supposed to be SAVING the world, not causing more disruption... no.
R4D2: Let’s kill him as... wait he seems to hate people, so let’s kill him Shada, I’m bored.
Mime: Nobody is going to kill him because I have a solution to our problem. Drain the disease down the toilets.
BOB: Yeah, doofus.
Blaze: We need to find the thing to save the world.
Shada: Why don’t we just turn the world on and off again?
Mime: No.
BOB: You know what, eat tide pods and chill.
Sir Knightsalot: Hello Sir and/or Madam, are you part of 7-Eleven’s reward program?
Zalia: We discussed this on the trip. I hate having to do with more people.
Sir Knightsalot: But you could save so much money. Here, I’ll get you an application form.
Zalia: Anyone else find him insufferable? ANYONE!
BOB: Anyone want to look at memes?
Shada: Maybe there’s a hidden message in the memes as to how we can save the Universe.
Jenny: I don’t doubt it... clues are always found in the weirdest places.
Danone: Money? For fork cat dude.
Mewinberg: We can stop it if we eat the yogurt guy.
No name: Yes! Kill him! Mr. Mime, can you not try not to eat the yogurt is much more nutritious.
Mime: No!
Shada: I thought mimes don’t talk... did you fail mime school?
Jenny: So instead of judging, maybe we could try to work together to save the world?
Un-Known: Never. Anarchy is the best move kids.
Jenny: Uhm, okay. Maybe not so easy to work together.
Mime: Blow up the Earth and move to the moon.
Shada: The moon is uninhabitable. The mime should move there and the rest of us can establish the first colony on Mars.
Danon: Yes Ma’am.
Mime: No the moon is more hospitable.
Danone: Yo Knight, you got a fork?
Sir Knightsalot: No, but I wish I has my battle axe1
Danone: BOB, fork.
BOB: Dough.
Danone: Sweet Jennifer, fork.
Jenny: Uhm, no?
Sir Knightsalot: What do you need a fork for, good sir?
Danone: Knight! To eat yogurt dude! Jenny fork you.
Sir Knightsalot: Could you eat it with a fork?
Danone: Dough boy, ya need Lenin to restart the Earth!
SKAL: Lenin? My good sir, please explain.
Danone: Knife because I said so.
Dear Evil Villian ...
Dear Darth Vader,
People generally irritate me. What can I do about this?
- Awesome
Dear Awesome,
Use the force and if you're not good at irritating people make them irritate themselves.
Dear Savage Opress,
We feel so left out. When Noah left in his ark he took mosquitos but not us. How do we get over this?
- The Unicorns
Dear Unicorns,
You should stage an uprising and use your horn to stab the person who slighted you.
Dear Sun,
I walked through the wadrobe in the spare roomand met a nice lady who offered me candy. What should I do?
- Sweet Tooth
Dear Sweet Tooth,
Burn them. Burn them all. Then blow their remains up using nuclear fusion. Perfect. That's it.
Dear Venom,
I've had this mysterious scar since I was a baby. Does that mean I've defeated the Dark Lord? Sould I be learning spells just in case?
- Worried
Dear Worried,
Don't learn any spells. Too much work. You'll be fine.
Dear Lord Voldemort,
My best friend wrote, "I love Linda" in the boys bathroom. How do I let him now that LInda is in the girls bathroom?
- Bathroom buddy
Dear Bathroom Buddy,
I guess you could just tell him face to face so it'll get through to him that girls don't go in the boys bathroom.
Dear Voltrak,
My boyfriend is always talking about the girls he used to date. It hurts my feelings. Whyat should I do?
- Invisible
Dear Invisible,
Murder his girlfriends to shut him up. As for your feelings, get over it.
- Sincerely your favorite murder and model Voltrak
People generally irritate me. What can I do about this?
- Awesome
Dear Awesome,
Use the force and if you're not good at irritating people make them irritate themselves.
Dear Savage Opress,
We feel so left out. When Noah left in his ark he took mosquitos but not us. How do we get over this?
- The Unicorns
Dear Unicorns,
You should stage an uprising and use your horn to stab the person who slighted you.
Dear Sun,
I walked through the wadrobe in the spare roomand met a nice lady who offered me candy. What should I do?
- Sweet Tooth
Dear Sweet Tooth,
Burn them. Burn them all. Then blow their remains up using nuclear fusion. Perfect. That's it.
Dear Venom,
I've had this mysterious scar since I was a baby. Does that mean I've defeated the Dark Lord? Sould I be learning spells just in case?
- Worried
Dear Worried,
Don't learn any spells. Too much work. You'll be fine.
Dear Lord Voldemort,
My best friend wrote, "I love Linda" in the boys bathroom. How do I let him now that LInda is in the girls bathroom?
- Bathroom buddy
Dear Bathroom Buddy,
I guess you could just tell him face to face so it'll get through to him that girls don't go in the boys bathroom.
Dear Voltrak,
My boyfriend is always talking about the girls he used to date. It hurts my feelings. Whyat should I do?
- Invisible
Dear Invisible,
Murder his girlfriends to shut him up. As for your feelings, get over it.
- Sincerely your favorite murder and model Voltrak
We've Got a Goose Situation... (An Apocalyptic Dialogue)
By RIO Prime
Mayor Gord: How can we defeat this goose? Can you fight?
Todd: I have a frying pan. But I think we need to do something more permanent than fighting.
Ersa: Than let’s deliver pizza to the ducks!
Mayor Gord: But pizza is so good! Why would we waste it on these nefarious birds? Useless… it was POISONED pizza?
Ersa: No way! We don’t make pizza! We deliver it!
Mayor Gord: Well do you know where we can get some poisoned pizza to deliver?
Ersa: No. Do you think we are killer pizza people!?
Mayor Gord: I’m sorry, but Todd seems to agree with me.
Ersa: Don’t listen to that crazy!
Todd: Who’s crazy? Let’s make this poisoned pizza and we can mark the boxes with a heart so we know not to eat the,.
Killer Beast: No
Diana: We need to find the thing that’s making it happen,
Killer beast: The baby wants to go kill some evil beast that looks like goo.
Baby: uh huh
Todd: uh want some pizza?
Zoe: No
Killer beast: of course.
(Honk Honk Honk Chomp)
Killer beast: Yes.
Baby: Let’s go.
Killer beast: Yes
Kittiecup: I can’t go, I’m not ready,
Killer beast: Yes.
Ersa: Uh, mugs can’t do much!
Kittiecup: Why is there a killer goose in the harisin?
Zoe: Idea?!? But I think we need to stop them
Kitticup: Good idea.
Zoe: Yeah!
Kittiecup: Do you have an idea to stop the goose?
Mayor Gord: I think we should scare the goose and follow it back to the master lair of the geese.
Todd: I agree – we can pretend we’re delivering pizza and then hit them with a killer virus that will take them all out.
Mayor Gord: Great plan! How will we scare off this goose?
Danny: Goose: I might be able to disguise myself as a goose and follow them to their lair!
(honk honk)
Todd: Who can make the virus.
Killer beast: No.
Ersa: Not me!
Danny goose: Are you prepared to take down the killer geese, my comrade?
Kitticup: No I’m not ready, I’m a cup.
Danny Goose: We must equip you to deal with the killer geese! We should tape a gun to you!
Kittiecup: Why a gun?
Danny Goose: Well, it’d be easier to use than a sword, right? Cause you’re so small. Makes sense, right?
Kittiecup: No, I have no hands.
Danny Goose: Yeah, you know, I’ve always wondered how do you walk? And how are you able to swim so fast?
Kittiecup: I don’t swim fast, I sink and I hop not walk.
Danny Goose: Fascinating!
Diana: Can I have some pizza? I have change.
Todd: I’ll give you all the pizza! I love handing out pizza!
Ersa: Me too!
Zoe: I love Canada!
Ersa: Ok! Do you want to order some candy pizza?
Zoe: Of course!
Ersa: Ok! I will give it to you after the apocalypse.
Baby: Want to go kill some evil beast that looks like geese?
Killer beast: Yes.
Heeby-jeebies: Sorry, but it will cost $7.99 to kill that goose.
(A noise sounds as heeby-jeebies head is sliced off, something to the effect of “shink”)
Ersa: Are you a goose man? If you are then aren’t you the enemy?
Danny Goose: Don’t worry, I have enough of a human brain that I have control over my behaviour! My brain might not be complete, but it’s enough
(honk honk)
Ersa: Cool. It’s good to have someone who knows ours enemy.
Danny Goose: Yes, I know much about the geese and their habits. Really love dinner.
Ersa: Ok! Pizza time!
Diana: I have change! After, want to kill some geese?
Danny Goose: Yes, let us kill and end some of those evil geese.
Zoe: Do you have any idea what’s going on? I just want to fight the geese.
Heeby-Jeebies: With all due respect Mr. Mayor, I think this goose is your jusrisdication.
Mayor Gord: I would be obliged to agree.
(Mayor Gord draws weapons)
Who do you think here can help us, Heeby-Jeebies?
Heeby-Jeebies: It appears we are in some dire circumstances, so perhaps that goose man would be a valuable asset.
(Danny Goose makes honking noises)
Danny Goose: I will lead you to victory!
Mayor Gord: Excellent! We seem to be formulating quite a plan here.
Todd: So are you going to pay for the pizzas?
Heeby-Jeebies: Not out of my own pocket, but I may be able to take some tax money.
Diana: I have some change.
Heeby-Jeebies: You are obliged to give it to me, it is taxes.
Killer beast: No.
Ersa: Pizza!
Killer beast: No.
(Baby incinerates pizza)
Todd: My pizza! Luckily I have more in the car. Oh look, they’re weird. Must have been the heat. I will feed a slice to a goose. Ahh! The goose is mutating into a hamster! How cute
Todd: I have a frying pan. But I think we need to do something more permanent than fighting.
Ersa: Than let’s deliver pizza to the ducks!
Mayor Gord: But pizza is so good! Why would we waste it on these nefarious birds? Useless… it was POISONED pizza?
Ersa: No way! We don’t make pizza! We deliver it!
Mayor Gord: Well do you know where we can get some poisoned pizza to deliver?
Ersa: No. Do you think we are killer pizza people!?
Mayor Gord: I’m sorry, but Todd seems to agree with me.
Ersa: Don’t listen to that crazy!
Todd: Who’s crazy? Let’s make this poisoned pizza and we can mark the boxes with a heart so we know not to eat the,.
Killer Beast: No
Diana: We need to find the thing that’s making it happen,
Killer beast: The baby wants to go kill some evil beast that looks like goo.
Baby: uh huh
Todd: uh want some pizza?
Zoe: No
Killer beast: of course.
(Honk Honk Honk Chomp)
Killer beast: Yes.
Baby: Let’s go.
Killer beast: Yes
Kittiecup: I can’t go, I’m not ready,
Killer beast: Yes.
Ersa: Uh, mugs can’t do much!
Kittiecup: Why is there a killer goose in the harisin?
Zoe: Idea?!? But I think we need to stop them
Kitticup: Good idea.
Zoe: Yeah!
Kittiecup: Do you have an idea to stop the goose?
Mayor Gord: I think we should scare the goose and follow it back to the master lair of the geese.
Todd: I agree – we can pretend we’re delivering pizza and then hit them with a killer virus that will take them all out.
Mayor Gord: Great plan! How will we scare off this goose?
Danny: Goose: I might be able to disguise myself as a goose and follow them to their lair!
(honk honk)
Todd: Who can make the virus.
Killer beast: No.
Ersa: Not me!
Danny goose: Are you prepared to take down the killer geese, my comrade?
Kitticup: No I’m not ready, I’m a cup.
Danny Goose: We must equip you to deal with the killer geese! We should tape a gun to you!
Kittiecup: Why a gun?
Danny Goose: Well, it’d be easier to use than a sword, right? Cause you’re so small. Makes sense, right?
Kittiecup: No, I have no hands.
Danny Goose: Yeah, you know, I’ve always wondered how do you walk? And how are you able to swim so fast?
Kittiecup: I don’t swim fast, I sink and I hop not walk.
Danny Goose: Fascinating!
Diana: Can I have some pizza? I have change.
Todd: I’ll give you all the pizza! I love handing out pizza!
Ersa: Me too!
Zoe: I love Canada!
Ersa: Ok! Do you want to order some candy pizza?
Zoe: Of course!
Ersa: Ok! I will give it to you after the apocalypse.
Baby: Want to go kill some evil beast that looks like geese?
Killer beast: Yes.
Heeby-jeebies: Sorry, but it will cost $7.99 to kill that goose.
(A noise sounds as heeby-jeebies head is sliced off, something to the effect of “shink”)
Ersa: Are you a goose man? If you are then aren’t you the enemy?
Danny Goose: Don’t worry, I have enough of a human brain that I have control over my behaviour! My brain might not be complete, but it’s enough
(honk honk)
Ersa: Cool. It’s good to have someone who knows ours enemy.
Danny Goose: Yes, I know much about the geese and their habits. Really love dinner.
Ersa: Ok! Pizza time!
Diana: I have change! After, want to kill some geese?
Danny Goose: Yes, let us kill and end some of those evil geese.
Zoe: Do you have any idea what’s going on? I just want to fight the geese.
Heeby-Jeebies: With all due respect Mr. Mayor, I think this goose is your jusrisdication.
Mayor Gord: I would be obliged to agree.
(Mayor Gord draws weapons)
Who do you think here can help us, Heeby-Jeebies?
Heeby-Jeebies: It appears we are in some dire circumstances, so perhaps that goose man would be a valuable asset.
(Danny Goose makes honking noises)
Danny Goose: I will lead you to victory!
Mayor Gord: Excellent! We seem to be formulating quite a plan here.
Todd: So are you going to pay for the pizzas?
Heeby-Jeebies: Not out of my own pocket, but I may be able to take some tax money.
Diana: I have some change.
Heeby-Jeebies: You are obliged to give it to me, it is taxes.
Killer beast: No.
Ersa: Pizza!
Killer beast: No.
(Baby incinerates pizza)
Todd: My pizza! Luckily I have more in the car. Oh look, they’re weird. Must have been the heat. I will feed a slice to a goose. Ahh! The goose is mutating into a hamster! How cute
Superhero Stories by RIO Crowfoot
THE DINO PEOPLE - A Superhero group - shares their greatest adventure!
All the Dino People go back in time to save the Dinosaurs from being dead. Then stop at Jurassic Park to stop the enslavement of the dinosaurs. But when they tried to become dinosaurs the fall into a volcano! They shot oil out of their hands to get out of the volcano. TheMemesAreCool stayed in the volcano and died. No one found him because he was invisible. But then he was brought back to life by the magical powers of oil.
W.H.A.T. (Wonderful Humans Attacking Terminators) - A Superhero group - shares their greatest adventure!
In Sydney Australia Luna and The Void went to the zoo to steal a pink fluffy unicorn and Wolf. They stole them without issue. In the meantime, Seral was investigating the missing animals and Ms. Fantastic was looking for her brain at the zoo. Wolf ate the brain so Ms. Fantastic chased Wolf and Luna. Ms Fantastic disturbed some terminators in another exhibit so they started chasing her. Ms. Fantastic tried to get the brain back. The terminators interrupted this. Everyone ended up fighting the terminators and thus WHAT was born!
Jediarmsvictory - A Superhero group - shares their greatest adventure!
The Jediarmsvictory fought the Sith, killing them all in one blow and saved the world at the same time. The Sith were going to surprise attack us, but Fourarms heard them with his super hearing - General Grievous Jr. drained them of their powers, then Victory wrapped them in vines which strangled them. The Sith called for Storm troopers as backup. TGhey shot at Jediarmsvictory. Victory and Fourarms got hit while Jr disappeared. Jr then came from behind, draining them of their powers, saving the world. The team set off explosives on the remaining Sith/Stormtroopers, then ran away dramatically as the villains exploded in the background.
All the Dino People go back in time to save the Dinosaurs from being dead. Then stop at Jurassic Park to stop the enslavement of the dinosaurs. But when they tried to become dinosaurs the fall into a volcano! They shot oil out of their hands to get out of the volcano. TheMemesAreCool stayed in the volcano and died. No one found him because he was invisible. But then he was brought back to life by the magical powers of oil.
W.H.A.T. (Wonderful Humans Attacking Terminators) - A Superhero group - shares their greatest adventure!
In Sydney Australia Luna and The Void went to the zoo to steal a pink fluffy unicorn and Wolf. They stole them without issue. In the meantime, Seral was investigating the missing animals and Ms. Fantastic was looking for her brain at the zoo. Wolf ate the brain so Ms. Fantastic chased Wolf and Luna. Ms Fantastic disturbed some terminators in another exhibit so they started chasing her. Ms. Fantastic tried to get the brain back. The terminators interrupted this. Everyone ended up fighting the terminators and thus WHAT was born!
Jediarmsvictory - A Superhero group - shares their greatest adventure!
The Jediarmsvictory fought the Sith, killing them all in one blow and saved the world at the same time. The Sith were going to surprise attack us, but Fourarms heard them with his super hearing - General Grievous Jr. drained them of their powers, then Victory wrapped them in vines which strangled them. The Sith called for Storm troopers as backup. TGhey shot at Jediarmsvictory. Victory and Fourarms got hit while Jr disappeared. Jr then came from behind, draining them of their powers, saving the world. The team set off explosives on the remaining Sith/Stormtroopers, then ran away dramatically as the villains exploded in the background.
Comic-Inspiration.
George by Eli Smart
Is that George?
G-E-O-R-G-E George?
The legend George?
THE George?
I . . . I . . . can't believe I get to meet THE George!
Wait! He's coming over to me!
I know what to say!
"So many Kleenexes," is what I said.
He was ver sick
THE George was sick
He was the man who couldn't get sick
And he was sick
MY HERO!
All I have to say is . . .
Man - Zero
Dogs - Eight
G-E-O-R-G-E George?
The legend George?
THE George?
I . . . I . . . can't believe I get to meet THE George!
Wait! He's coming over to me!
I know what to say!
"So many Kleenexes," is what I said.
He was ver sick
THE George was sick
He was the man who couldn't get sick
And he was sick
MY HERO!
All I have to say is . . .
Man - Zero
Dogs - Eight
You've got a few hours to meet me below Fairmount Palliser with $4.95 if you want to see this dog again. (arrow pointing to a ram with a mustache wearing a Hawaiian shirt and hat sticking it's tongue out).