RIO's September E-Zine
Remember the Summer Fun
Dear Camp RIO . . .
- Dear RIO, remember when we did Late Night with Jacob and Robin?
- Dear RIO, remember when. The End.
- Dear RIO, remember when Janet was the worst camp counselor ever?
- Dear RIO, remember when Robin went on a killing spree because you told him to write this in one minute? Me too.
- Dear RIO, remember when Mary wrote everything so British that nobody could understand it? HA! Us too.
- Thank you to Claire for letting me steal all her coloured pencils
- Dear RIO remember when we took the bus to Century Park and then got Slurpies?
- Dear RIO remember when we passed the lady with the Invisible Lion?
RIO tells a story . . .
Once upon a time there was a cow who really wanted to be able to fly. she wanted to fly so much she decided to consult a powerful magician who told her to see a man about a toad. She thanked the magician and gathered a band of clowns to join her in her journey to find the man who had the toad. She arrived at her destination but the man was nowhere to be found. So the cow went to Canada to look for the man. But he was not there either so she went to Africa to try and find the man but on the way she stopped for ice cream. The ice cream was mint flavour and after she ate the ice cream she felt she became lighter and lighter, and she began to float. The ice cream guy was the man. She told the man that she could fly and they lived happily ever after. THE END.
Once upon a time there was an Evil Hamburger. This Evil Hamburger had a secret weakness which was that he did not like mustard!! One day on eight year old was about to put mustard on him but then his mother called him. The hamburger was very happy that he escaped death. So happy, that he started to dance! His dance was very cool; his lettuce was flapping and his buns were bouncing. All the other food stopped to watch and gawked at his beef. All the lady burger began throwing themselves at him because dance is just so hot right now. However he turned them all down because he liked guy burgers. Suddenly when the hamburger danced he twirled too fast and he exploded and all the hamburgers died. THE END.
It was a dark and stormy night. I stand on the wet rooftop and stare down. I see a great and horrible beast. It's eyes glow blood red and it's fur is black as night. It charges towards me with lightning speed. I turn around to run away from the creature, but I fall off the roof. My arms windmill as I fall. I hit the ground only to see the beast in front of me. I'm scared but then I see a magical mushroom which I eat and realize that it is a love potion. Suddenly I fall in love with a beautiful bird. Then I realize that I start to understand their language. So the bird gets an army of birds and attacks the beast and kills it. THE END.
You're here! You're here! Welcome . . . to the Dark Woods Circus. It is the darkest and woodsiest circus. A circus so strange in the fact that it has brought all the strangest acts, all the weirdest performers, and all things uncanny. Such as the Farting Banana and the Acrobatic Homosexual Sloth. Many years ago, we were a normal circus . . . until the accident. On the night of the biggest circus show everything went great until . . . the sloth fell and broke all of his bones. However, he was not dead! He ended up in the hospital for eight years. He died in his bed. THE END.
A few years ago there was a man called, Bobby, living by a river. He was very homeless and he ate fish for supper every night. He was sick of fish, so he started hunting humans instead. He also ate deer and moose but people were easier to catch and more tasty. One night he was out hunting when he saw a group of hunters. He ate them in one bite. Nomz. His stomach felt very full but he was still hungry and thirsty, so he drank a whole lake. But after that he regretted it and was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. On the second day, he regretted every evil thing he had done. After that he left his hometown and became a Christian. THE END.
Once upon a time there was an evil hippo who LOVED cheese. He fell in love with a zebra who hated cheese. One day the evil hippo made cheese cake. The zebra stomped on the cake and ran away. The hippo was so mad that he was going to eat the zebra. He ran after the zebra but the zebra was fast and he was fat and slow. So he stopped and ate more cheese. This caused him to become more fat and this made him sad. Being sad made him want to eat more cheese. But the cheese he ate was poisoned by an evil hamburger and that was the end of the fat, slow, greedy hippo! THE END.
Once upon a time there was an asthmatic dragon. The dragon was unable to fly because of his asthma. This angered him and he grew into a raging reptile with terrible anger issues. The doctor prescribed him asthma medication, however the dragon was still angry and terrorized the people. One day a brave knight came and there was an epic battle between the knight an the dragon. Sadly the knight took a stab to the heart from the dragon's sharp claws and died. The whole city was in danger. The villagers hid and the city was quiet until the next day. The dragon then died from suffocation when a flood washed him away. The villagers ran up into the dragon's cave hoping to find treasure. But since the dragon couldn't fly, there was no gold. The villagers were angry but there was nothing they could do. THE END.
Once upon a time there was a mystical dragon. It was owned by an attractive gay man named Esteban. Esteban had a partner named Jésus, who he would take for dragon rides. But one day when Esteban and Jésus were riding the dragon, Jésus fell off and landed on pointy rocks where he died! Esteban was so sad that Jésus had died he killed himself but then he came back alive as a zombie! He first found his dragon and ried to kill him because he thought his friend's death was the dragon's fault. SO he bit the dragon and the dragon turned into a zombie dragon. The dragon ate Esteban, and promptly got sick. Then he puked. Zombie Esteban was regurgitated but since he couldn't find anyone to eat - he died. THE END.
Once there was a moose who ate children. He had a preference for those with blue eyes. The moose was really bad. He was so bad that when a child was nice to him he just ate them. All the children who were eaten by the moose were never seen again! Their parents got together and decided to catch this evil moose. They gathered pitchforks and lit torches, and got bored and went for coffee. Then they got ropes and guns. They chased the moose all through the woods but they didn't catch him. He escaped and continued to eat helpless children. The last day he was alive there were no more children on the planet. He got so hungry that he ate himself. Literally. He ate himself. THE END.
Once upon a time there was a blind chipmunk. The blind chipmunk ran into everything! So because of this he had NO friends and all the other chipmunks called him Blindy! One day, he saw a bottle of ketchup sitting on a plate. He used his paws to see. It was kind of awkward, but he managed to steal the ketchup. He tried to run away with his ketchup but he ran into a tree and fell over. The chipmunk was hurt by his fall and spilled his ketchup. He began to cry and the tears cured his blindness!! He opened his eyes just in time to see them stabbed out again. He got angry then, and killed everyone, avenging his eyes. He lived the rest of his life peacefully, until he accidentally walked into a badger's den. THE END.
Once upon a time there was an Evil Hamburger. This Evil Hamburger had a secret weakness which was that he did not like mustard!! One day on eight year old was about to put mustard on him but then his mother called him. The hamburger was very happy that he escaped death. So happy, that he started to dance! His dance was very cool; his lettuce was flapping and his buns were bouncing. All the other food stopped to watch and gawked at his beef. All the lady burger began throwing themselves at him because dance is just so hot right now. However he turned them all down because he liked guy burgers. Suddenly when the hamburger danced he twirled too fast and he exploded and all the hamburgers died. THE END.
It was a dark and stormy night. I stand on the wet rooftop and stare down. I see a great and horrible beast. It's eyes glow blood red and it's fur is black as night. It charges towards me with lightning speed. I turn around to run away from the creature, but I fall off the roof. My arms windmill as I fall. I hit the ground only to see the beast in front of me. I'm scared but then I see a magical mushroom which I eat and realize that it is a love potion. Suddenly I fall in love with a beautiful bird. Then I realize that I start to understand their language. So the bird gets an army of birds and attacks the beast and kills it. THE END.
You're here! You're here! Welcome . . . to the Dark Woods Circus. It is the darkest and woodsiest circus. A circus so strange in the fact that it has brought all the strangest acts, all the weirdest performers, and all things uncanny. Such as the Farting Banana and the Acrobatic Homosexual Sloth. Many years ago, we were a normal circus . . . until the accident. On the night of the biggest circus show everything went great until . . . the sloth fell and broke all of his bones. However, he was not dead! He ended up in the hospital for eight years. He died in his bed. THE END.
A few years ago there was a man called, Bobby, living by a river. He was very homeless and he ate fish for supper every night. He was sick of fish, so he started hunting humans instead. He also ate deer and moose but people were easier to catch and more tasty. One night he was out hunting when he saw a group of hunters. He ate them in one bite. Nomz. His stomach felt very full but he was still hungry and thirsty, so he drank a whole lake. But after that he regretted it and was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. On the second day, he regretted every evil thing he had done. After that he left his hometown and became a Christian. THE END.
Once upon a time there was an evil hippo who LOVED cheese. He fell in love with a zebra who hated cheese. One day the evil hippo made cheese cake. The zebra stomped on the cake and ran away. The hippo was so mad that he was going to eat the zebra. He ran after the zebra but the zebra was fast and he was fat and slow. So he stopped and ate more cheese. This caused him to become more fat and this made him sad. Being sad made him want to eat more cheese. But the cheese he ate was poisoned by an evil hamburger and that was the end of the fat, slow, greedy hippo! THE END.
Once upon a time there was an asthmatic dragon. The dragon was unable to fly because of his asthma. This angered him and he grew into a raging reptile with terrible anger issues. The doctor prescribed him asthma medication, however the dragon was still angry and terrorized the people. One day a brave knight came and there was an epic battle between the knight an the dragon. Sadly the knight took a stab to the heart from the dragon's sharp claws and died. The whole city was in danger. The villagers hid and the city was quiet until the next day. The dragon then died from suffocation when a flood washed him away. The villagers ran up into the dragon's cave hoping to find treasure. But since the dragon couldn't fly, there was no gold. The villagers were angry but there was nothing they could do. THE END.
Once upon a time there was a mystical dragon. It was owned by an attractive gay man named Esteban. Esteban had a partner named Jésus, who he would take for dragon rides. But one day when Esteban and Jésus were riding the dragon, Jésus fell off and landed on pointy rocks where he died! Esteban was so sad that Jésus had died he killed himself but then he came back alive as a zombie! He first found his dragon and ried to kill him because he thought his friend's death was the dragon's fault. SO he bit the dragon and the dragon turned into a zombie dragon. The dragon ate Esteban, and promptly got sick. Then he puked. Zombie Esteban was regurgitated but since he couldn't find anyone to eat - he died. THE END.
Once there was a moose who ate children. He had a preference for those with blue eyes. The moose was really bad. He was so bad that when a child was nice to him he just ate them. All the children who were eaten by the moose were never seen again! Their parents got together and decided to catch this evil moose. They gathered pitchforks and lit torches, and got bored and went for coffee. Then they got ropes and guns. They chased the moose all through the woods but they didn't catch him. He escaped and continued to eat helpless children. The last day he was alive there were no more children on the planet. He got so hungry that he ate himself. Literally. He ate himself. THE END.
Once upon a time there was a blind chipmunk. The blind chipmunk ran into everything! So because of this he had NO friends and all the other chipmunks called him Blindy! One day, he saw a bottle of ketchup sitting on a plate. He used his paws to see. It was kind of awkward, but he managed to steal the ketchup. He tried to run away with his ketchup but he ran into a tree and fell over. The chipmunk was hurt by his fall and spilled his ketchup. He began to cry and the tears cured his blindness!! He opened his eyes just in time to see them stabbed out again. He got angry then, and killed everyone, avenging his eyes. He lived the rest of his life peacefully, until he accidentally walked into a badger's den. THE END.
RIO Poems
Grizzly Bears
I was walking in a dark forest.
I don't like walking in a creepy forest.
The creepy forest is a nightmare!
There is a grizzly bear in the forest.
There is a bear in the grizzly forest.
The Grizzly Forest had hundreds of bears.
Fairies
Once upon a time.
Once there was a magic rain forest.
I love magic rain forests.
Did you know rain forests are magic?
I know that there are thousands of fairies in the rain forests.
Did I know there are thousands of fairies?
Farting in Shoe Boxes
I enjoy farting in shoe boxes.
I enjoy shoe boxes in farting.
I enjoy playing with my friends.
Playing with friends is great!
Having friends who care is great!
Having fun with your friends, who cares about homework?
One Direction
What did you do?
You saw One Direction and did what?
You did and saw One Direction and what did you do?
I walk in one direction looking for my friends.
My friends like One Direction.
Lots of my friends don't like One Direction!
Red
The sun was red in the hot noon sky.
The sun sky was above the red mountain.
The mountain was stained red with the blood of the fallen.
The red fallen mountain with the red blood of the fallen was stained.
Our blood is blue in the inside but red in the outside.
My blood is red on the outside.
Clever Rabbit
Once upon a time there was a clever rabbit.
Time rabbit once teleported there, clever huh?
Clever time rabbit teleported, huh? Wait, what?
Wait . . . what time did the clever rabbit teleport to?
Wait . . . what time in time did really clever rabbit go to by teleporting?
Rabbits hop and jump and are very clever.
Angry Firetruck
There once was an angry firetruck
The angry firetruck drove angrily through the streets.
Streets and firetrucks don't mix because streets don't drive angry and trucks don't eat bees.
Don't mix streets and firetrucks because bees don't eat faces.
Firetruck faces and street bees don't mix because they don't eat cabbage.
Bee faces and firetrucks don't mix.
Carrot Noses
Once upon a time there was a snowman who had a carrot nose.
Once time was a snowman, his weakness was a carrot nose.
The carrot nose was magical.
As magical as carrot noses can be when attached to quickly melting snowmen.
Magical carrots quickly melt snow attached to walls.
Walls magically melt the carrots attached to my suspenders.
Cheesy Pictures
I like to eat pizza.
She likes to make cheesy pizza.
She makes cheesy pictures, but it's not something she likes.
The cheesy pictures are really bad but really funny.
The funny, bad, and cheesy men took photographic pictures while on holiday.
The funny photographic image is on holiday.
I Can't Sing
I don't like dogs.
I like dogs that sing.
I'm having a really bad cold. I can't sing anymore.
I'm a really bad song and I can't sing anymore.
My songs are so bad that they scare birds.
But I write songs about bad birds that scare old ladies.
I was walking in a dark forest.
I don't like walking in a creepy forest.
The creepy forest is a nightmare!
There is a grizzly bear in the forest.
There is a bear in the grizzly forest.
The Grizzly Forest had hundreds of bears.
Fairies
Once upon a time.
Once there was a magic rain forest.
I love magic rain forests.
Did you know rain forests are magic?
I know that there are thousands of fairies in the rain forests.
Did I know there are thousands of fairies?
Farting in Shoe Boxes
I enjoy farting in shoe boxes.
I enjoy shoe boxes in farting.
I enjoy playing with my friends.
Playing with friends is great!
Having friends who care is great!
Having fun with your friends, who cares about homework?
One Direction
What did you do?
You saw One Direction and did what?
You did and saw One Direction and what did you do?
I walk in one direction looking for my friends.
My friends like One Direction.
Lots of my friends don't like One Direction!
Red
The sun was red in the hot noon sky.
The sun sky was above the red mountain.
The mountain was stained red with the blood of the fallen.
The red fallen mountain with the red blood of the fallen was stained.
Our blood is blue in the inside but red in the outside.
My blood is red on the outside.
Clever Rabbit
Once upon a time there was a clever rabbit.
Time rabbit once teleported there, clever huh?
Clever time rabbit teleported, huh? Wait, what?
Wait . . . what time did the clever rabbit teleport to?
Wait . . . what time in time did really clever rabbit go to by teleporting?
Rabbits hop and jump and are very clever.
Angry Firetruck
There once was an angry firetruck
The angry firetruck drove angrily through the streets.
Streets and firetrucks don't mix because streets don't drive angry and trucks don't eat bees.
Don't mix streets and firetrucks because bees don't eat faces.
Firetruck faces and street bees don't mix because they don't eat cabbage.
Bee faces and firetrucks don't mix.
Carrot Noses
Once upon a time there was a snowman who had a carrot nose.
Once time was a snowman, his weakness was a carrot nose.
The carrot nose was magical.
As magical as carrot noses can be when attached to quickly melting snowmen.
Magical carrots quickly melt snow attached to walls.
Walls magically melt the carrots attached to my suspenders.
Cheesy Pictures
I like to eat pizza.
She likes to make cheesy pizza.
She makes cheesy pictures, but it's not something she likes.
The cheesy pictures are really bad but really funny.
The funny, bad, and cheesy men took photographic pictures while on holiday.
The funny photographic image is on holiday.
I Can't Sing
I don't like dogs.
I like dogs that sing.
I'm having a really bad cold. I can't sing anymore.
I'm a really bad song and I can't sing anymore.
My songs are so bad that they scare birds.
But I write songs about bad birds that scare old ladies.
REMEMBER!!!
This website has some awesome
contests, writing markets, and classes
for you to take. So check them out by going to our
resources page.
This website has some awesome
contests, writing markets, and classes
for you to take. So check them out by going to our
resources page.