RIO's June E-Zine
SUMMER IS FINALLY HERE!!!
Photos by Robin Bowering
Here we see the majestic RIOites in their native habitat, participating in their traditional insanity dance.
- Robin Bowering
- Robin Bowering
by Mary Innes
Chasing Tales by RIO
Sometimes the building was explosively implosive, caving in on itself as it went KABOOM!
I sometimes go on craving KABOOM!
KABOOM, the roof began to sink. It was caving in!
The cave’s roof was covered in quartz which reflected the torches light, giving the space around him an ethereal air.
I love really fat cats. Don’t judge.
Really, the cat was very fat, and that’s why I did what I did . . . don’t judge.
I am kinda fat but so is my cat so, judge, okay.
The cat is kinda fat and it sat on the hat, as Dr. Seuss would say.
Recent studies have proved that fire hydrants cannot speak.
Recent studies have proved that fire hydrants can speak.
Recent studies have proved nothing about fire hydrants, how dare you generalize like that you scummy wastes of air.
I stared into his eyes, caressing his muscular chest.
He bled from his eyes as the demonic soul entered his body from his chest.
He bled from his chest as a unicorn ate out his eyes.
The unicorn grinned with pleasure as he bled and began to sing Bohemian Rhapsody in its pure ecstasy as it ate him.
Heeeey . . . wazzzup? At least recognize my existence for a bit here, okay? I want to let you know that you need to run. No! Not that way. The other way. Good. Keep doing that.
In response to message: No! Look you’re not the boss of me. Okay, and if I want to go that way, I can go that way!
You will all die. Satan is the boss. He will always control us and it will stay that way until the Universe collapses upon itself.
Satan will die by being eaten by a evil dog that is made of a Twinkie filled with the universe.
The R.I.O. building is lovely with many brick walls and on oddly coloured room in which R.I.O. is held.
Lovely brick walls surround me, oddly coloured and cracked.
It’s actually really boring cause the oddly coloured bricks are only in my mind and the cracks are in my mind struggling to wake me up from a coma.
I watched as the struggling vermin of a person tried to escape from the living hell that was his mind.
Lightning flashes, and rain pelts down on the chalk marked sidewalk.
Lightning clouds and rain drawn on a chalkboard with many flashes of colour.
Lightning drawn on the floor in a red substance I don’t want to identify.
It was ketchup, just sayin’ (ha ha, get it). Lightning bolts made out of ketchup substance.
The portrait of Queen Alexandria was looking particularly somber today.
Somber clouds in Queen Alexandria’s dress were particularly vibrant against the satin stitching.
Queen Alexandra sat as they stitched her together as one would stitch a doll.
As one would stitch a doll, they closed my mouth semi-permanently, and I shrieked for the last time.
The weather monkeys always get the weather wrong.
Monkeys always show up during the wrong weather.
During the strong weather storm, the man turned the wrong direction as a monkey jumped in front of the car.
A coat of gold, a coat of red, a lion still her claws, and mine are long and sharp my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
The lion awoke to an ashen sky streaked with red and amber.
Amber with ashen mosquito stuck in its rocky shell, never to awaken.
Amber the mosquito was driving down the rocky road.
I did not kill a human, or did I?
I may or may not have killed the human; the evidence is still being gathered.
“Kill” is such a subjective term, as is “human.”
Subject dead. Killed by human. Term – life. Jail forever. The gavel bangs.
I sometimes go on craving KABOOM!
KABOOM, the roof began to sink. It was caving in!
The cave’s roof was covered in quartz which reflected the torches light, giving the space around him an ethereal air.
I love really fat cats. Don’t judge.
Really, the cat was very fat, and that’s why I did what I did . . . don’t judge.
I am kinda fat but so is my cat so, judge, okay.
The cat is kinda fat and it sat on the hat, as Dr. Seuss would say.
Recent studies have proved that fire hydrants cannot speak.
Recent studies have proved that fire hydrants can speak.
Recent studies have proved nothing about fire hydrants, how dare you generalize like that you scummy wastes of air.
I stared into his eyes, caressing his muscular chest.
He bled from his eyes as the demonic soul entered his body from his chest.
He bled from his chest as a unicorn ate out his eyes.
The unicorn grinned with pleasure as he bled and began to sing Bohemian Rhapsody in its pure ecstasy as it ate him.
Heeeey . . . wazzzup? At least recognize my existence for a bit here, okay? I want to let you know that you need to run. No! Not that way. The other way. Good. Keep doing that.
In response to message: No! Look you’re not the boss of me. Okay, and if I want to go that way, I can go that way!
You will all die. Satan is the boss. He will always control us and it will stay that way until the Universe collapses upon itself.
Satan will die by being eaten by a evil dog that is made of a Twinkie filled with the universe.
The R.I.O. building is lovely with many brick walls and on oddly coloured room in which R.I.O. is held.
Lovely brick walls surround me, oddly coloured and cracked.
It’s actually really boring cause the oddly coloured bricks are only in my mind and the cracks are in my mind struggling to wake me up from a coma.
I watched as the struggling vermin of a person tried to escape from the living hell that was his mind.
Lightning flashes, and rain pelts down on the chalk marked sidewalk.
Lightning clouds and rain drawn on a chalkboard with many flashes of colour.
Lightning drawn on the floor in a red substance I don’t want to identify.
It was ketchup, just sayin’ (ha ha, get it). Lightning bolts made out of ketchup substance.
The portrait of Queen Alexandria was looking particularly somber today.
Somber clouds in Queen Alexandria’s dress were particularly vibrant against the satin stitching.
Queen Alexandra sat as they stitched her together as one would stitch a doll.
As one would stitch a doll, they closed my mouth semi-permanently, and I shrieked for the last time.
The weather monkeys always get the weather wrong.
Monkeys always show up during the wrong weather.
During the strong weather storm, the man turned the wrong direction as a monkey jumped in front of the car.
A coat of gold, a coat of red, a lion still her claws, and mine are long and sharp my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
The lion awoke to an ashen sky streaked with red and amber.
Amber with ashen mosquito stuck in its rocky shell, never to awaken.
Amber the mosquito was driving down the rocky road.
I did not kill a human, or did I?
I may or may not have killed the human; the evidence is still being gathered.
“Kill” is such a subjective term, as is “human.”
Subject dead. Killed by human. Term – life. Jail forever. The gavel bangs.
Photo Day
by Mary Innes
RIO Out and About at Otafest
RIO GOES STEAM PUNK
Automaton Joey by Alexis Kelly
He's an automaton, he's good, and he's steam punk - what more could you ask for?
Lazy 40000 by Rayann Kelly
The Lazy 40000 is made for you. Just do not hide it close to your bed. I'm using it right now. So go away. Shoo. I'm not going to ask again. Nom, nom, nom . . .
Tea Dipper 2000 by Rachel Giesbrecht
Things sound so much more technical if you add numbers, right? Need a hot cup of tea? Don't want to get your hands dirty? This is the machine for your inner steam punk fanatic.
The Hand Hook by Willem
Leap across great spaces using steam engine technology. Side clips push the chain forward to hook onto things, grab enemies, jump across gaps, and disarm people. The hand hook for all your hand hooking needs.
Clockwork Slug by Emily Firmston
This clockwork, steam powered slug is the next evolution in shell-less, terrestrial, gastropod, molluscs. Get yours today!
