RIO's September E-Zine
Summer Adventures
Commissioned! by Jack Hornecker
Recently I was visited by some of the people who run the Alberta Children's Hospital Donor's Report, which is an annual booklet published by the hospital made to show donors what their money is going towards. I was asked to illustrate this report, putting it how a child (or teenager) would see it. I enthusiastically agreed. Here are some sample illustrations which went into the booklet.
Girl's Rock Camp by Emily Firmston
Girl's Rock Camp. A feminist haven for young ladies age ten-ish to around 16. Albeit a bit heavy-handed on the activism, it was an experience. From writing songs, to figuring out how to sing those damned uncooperative lyrics, to writing (or thieving) a bassline, keyboard parts, drums, and guitar. Don't even get me started on guitar. Our band was great.
We'd called ourselves Various Interests, after a happy accident involving grass. We were ready to do anything. Except pry open the door that been rudely slammed in our faces - we didn't have a guitarist. After a few uncomfortable stares, I could tell nobody wanted to step up and switch instruments. After all, you can't have a band with no drums or bass. You can, however, have a band without a keyboard. At least the singer knew how to play piano, so keys were covered. So, keyboardist turned guitarist. Not a huge deal, right? Guitar is easy! She probably knew how to play a few chords already. A bit of brushing up and the band would be golden.
There were a few slight complications. The keyboardist, was a fledgling classical pianist. Any past experience with any other instrument? Hell no. Final problem? That tenacious classical keyboardist was me, and boy am I stubborn. I would learn guitar in a bit less than a week, and I would preform on the Ship and Anchor stage with my song that I wrote all of the lyrics to by myself, and I would be a musical genius, dammit. If anyone could learn guitar in two days - wait. Two days?
Turns out after the fiasco of getting me a guitar that worked, I was left with 48 hours to learn an instrument. Not just any instrument, either. A classical instrument. Something just as hard as piano theory. And after anxiety attack after anxiety attack, I was defeated by that satanic hunk of wood. In my defeat, I felt expendable. The band was fine without me. They knew what they were doing, and I looked like the village idiot, not being able to play the instrument everybody else in the band knew how to play. I was pissed, frustrated, and upset, so I left. I stepped out. I couldn't do it. My part had been played. I wrote the lyrics, and now the curtains had closed on my measly part.
The rest of the band would have none of it, as I had found out. They went on strike. Nobody would touch their instruments until I walked back in and played the instrument I had signed up for in the first place. Until my hands were on the keys, not a single note was played. I was touched. After we'd put the whole incident behind us, I reveled in the fact that, even if I hadn't succeeded, I was damn close. Not to mention, if I had continued with that devil-instrument called guitar, I wouldn't have been able to play the grand piano in a professional recording studio. Which was extremely rad.
Not only was the piano rad, but we spent the greater part of the day in the mansion known as OCL studios. As much as many musicians hate recording, it was absolutely amazing to me. Our band's singer, Sophia, was the first to be hooked up on the mic, and with her sense of humor, she took full advantage of the opportunity for terrible jokes. Our drummer, Kendall, however, was locked in a soundproof room, and the only thing she could see was our bassist, Sloane, and myself dying from Sophia's antics. None of which Kendall could see. Needless to say that was the strangest game of charades I'd ever played, between Kendall guessing what was going on, and Sloane and I trying to mime it for her because our microphones weren't set up and Sophia repeating "Rigatoni". After everybody's mics were set up, (save mine, because apparently the pianist is just supposed to shut up and play) the recording began. It was a tiring day, and I swear to whatever cruel deity was toying with my existence, I will never play a G triad ever again.
Skipping to the next afternoon, after practicing the triads I needed to until my hands hurt, I stood in front of the venue. A bar. I was expected to go into said bar of my own volition. I was 13 turning 14 the next day. I had this strange feeling I might not blend into the crowd. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the surprisingly busy pub. Frantically searching for the other campers, I made my way to their table. Some band full of middle-aged men stood on the stage of the dark and loud bar. We had our pictures taken on the patio and anxiously awaited our performance. Various Interests, our band, was playing last. We were headlining on our first gig. Saying we were nervous would be an understatement. At this point I was extremely glad I didn't play guitar. When I'm nervous, my hands shake. That makes playing an instrument extremely hard, but I made it through. We started out with our cover of The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, and got the crowd ecstatic for whatever came next. What came next? Lime Flavoured Disappointment. Our original song. The crowd loved it. Despite the short performance, I was exhausted. And so, the week was over. An experience, for sure. To any girls who like to rock, I absolutely suggest signing up.
*Here's the song by Various Interests (written by Emily Firmston) for your listening interest:
LIME FLAVOURED DISSAPOINTMENT
*Here is Girls' Rock Camp's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/GirlsRockCampCalgary
We'd called ourselves Various Interests, after a happy accident involving grass. We were ready to do anything. Except pry open the door that been rudely slammed in our faces - we didn't have a guitarist. After a few uncomfortable stares, I could tell nobody wanted to step up and switch instruments. After all, you can't have a band with no drums or bass. You can, however, have a band without a keyboard. At least the singer knew how to play piano, so keys were covered. So, keyboardist turned guitarist. Not a huge deal, right? Guitar is easy! She probably knew how to play a few chords already. A bit of brushing up and the band would be golden.
There were a few slight complications. The keyboardist, was a fledgling classical pianist. Any past experience with any other instrument? Hell no. Final problem? That tenacious classical keyboardist was me, and boy am I stubborn. I would learn guitar in a bit less than a week, and I would preform on the Ship and Anchor stage with my song that I wrote all of the lyrics to by myself, and I would be a musical genius, dammit. If anyone could learn guitar in two days - wait. Two days?
Turns out after the fiasco of getting me a guitar that worked, I was left with 48 hours to learn an instrument. Not just any instrument, either. A classical instrument. Something just as hard as piano theory. And after anxiety attack after anxiety attack, I was defeated by that satanic hunk of wood. In my defeat, I felt expendable. The band was fine without me. They knew what they were doing, and I looked like the village idiot, not being able to play the instrument everybody else in the band knew how to play. I was pissed, frustrated, and upset, so I left. I stepped out. I couldn't do it. My part had been played. I wrote the lyrics, and now the curtains had closed on my measly part.
The rest of the band would have none of it, as I had found out. They went on strike. Nobody would touch their instruments until I walked back in and played the instrument I had signed up for in the first place. Until my hands were on the keys, not a single note was played. I was touched. After we'd put the whole incident behind us, I reveled in the fact that, even if I hadn't succeeded, I was damn close. Not to mention, if I had continued with that devil-instrument called guitar, I wouldn't have been able to play the grand piano in a professional recording studio. Which was extremely rad.
Not only was the piano rad, but we spent the greater part of the day in the mansion known as OCL studios. As much as many musicians hate recording, it was absolutely amazing to me. Our band's singer, Sophia, was the first to be hooked up on the mic, and with her sense of humor, she took full advantage of the opportunity for terrible jokes. Our drummer, Kendall, however, was locked in a soundproof room, and the only thing she could see was our bassist, Sloane, and myself dying from Sophia's antics. None of which Kendall could see. Needless to say that was the strangest game of charades I'd ever played, between Kendall guessing what was going on, and Sloane and I trying to mime it for her because our microphones weren't set up and Sophia repeating "Rigatoni". After everybody's mics were set up, (save mine, because apparently the pianist is just supposed to shut up and play) the recording began. It was a tiring day, and I swear to whatever cruel deity was toying with my existence, I will never play a G triad ever again.
Skipping to the next afternoon, after practicing the triads I needed to until my hands hurt, I stood in front of the venue. A bar. I was expected to go into said bar of my own volition. I was 13 turning 14 the next day. I had this strange feeling I might not blend into the crowd. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the surprisingly busy pub. Frantically searching for the other campers, I made my way to their table. Some band full of middle-aged men stood on the stage of the dark and loud bar. We had our pictures taken on the patio and anxiously awaited our performance. Various Interests, our band, was playing last. We were headlining on our first gig. Saying we were nervous would be an understatement. At this point I was extremely glad I didn't play guitar. When I'm nervous, my hands shake. That makes playing an instrument extremely hard, but I made it through. We started out with our cover of The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, and got the crowd ecstatic for whatever came next. What came next? Lime Flavoured Disappointment. Our original song. The crowd loved it. Despite the short performance, I was exhausted. And so, the week was over. An experience, for sure. To any girls who like to rock, I absolutely suggest signing up.
*Here's the song by Various Interests (written by Emily Firmston) for your listening interest:
LIME FLAVOURED DISSAPOINTMENT
*Here is Girls' Rock Camp's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/GirlsRockCampCalgary
Animethon by Alexis Kelly
This August, I joined some RIOites to go to an anime convention by the name of Animethon in Edmonton. We enjoyed things like watching anime, a Haikyuu fan panel - where I discovered that volleyball anime can be very dramatic, a writing panel where we learned about dubbing anime (which can be quite the task sometimes fitting mouth flaps to words to seconds and they put out dubs so quickly, HOW!?). We enjoyed both convenience sustenance as well as restaurant and hotel breakfast sustenance. We watched an interactive Dungeons and Dragons adventure using an interesting concept of using Jenga in creative ways as opposed to dice for success levels. It was hilarious, some of the time I couldn’t believe how well that Jenga tower stayed, man! And why are people so obsessed with being mages? My guess is because they are pretty universal in the world of fantasy, and magic is awesome. Plus they wouldn’t let people be mages, so they had to try, to which they failed.
We enjoyed things like watching Cowboy Bebop for morning cartoons in the hotel, and naming animes from old times, I only knew 3. We watched AMV comedies and Mortal Combat where AMVs battled to be number one, more watching anime, a Steins; Gate continuation sort of deal (Robotics;notes) and the AMV contest. Because we do not go to anime conventions without watching the AMV contest.
We found some old signs on our way back to our accommodations, they may say drugs but there were none to be found and watched Howls’ moving castle and discovered Howl is much like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, overdramatic but Howls extent is possibly even worse than Tamaki, he turns into green goo. Really Howl?
P.S. It came out AFTER Ouran so we are convinced they got the idea from that.We also discovered that the Attack on Titan theme song and Beyonces single ladies video match up pretty well, don’t ask, just go look it up. Do it.
When the final day came we drew blind, bet on who would win in a fight (to which the answer is never underestimate cute girls and DIALOGUE boxes.), looked at various merchandise, and discovered who won the glorious AMV contest. The winners and also those who did not win are probably far better at AMVs’ than I will ever be and I am glad to watch their works. Then the little piggy’s went home.
I have only been to Otafest and Animethon, but my favourite thing about these anime conventions are the people who make it possible. Both the coordinators and the attendees. They are all what makes this community so strong. Anime is an art that brings people of all different background and ethnicities and interests and art styles and quirks together. The art of anime is what brings us together. It is a beautiful thing.
Thanks for reading.
We enjoyed things like watching Cowboy Bebop for morning cartoons in the hotel, and naming animes from old times, I only knew 3. We watched AMV comedies and Mortal Combat where AMVs battled to be number one, more watching anime, a Steins; Gate continuation sort of deal (Robotics;notes) and the AMV contest. Because we do not go to anime conventions without watching the AMV contest.
We found some old signs on our way back to our accommodations, they may say drugs but there were none to be found and watched Howls’ moving castle and discovered Howl is much like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, overdramatic but Howls extent is possibly even worse than Tamaki, he turns into green goo. Really Howl?
P.S. It came out AFTER Ouran so we are convinced they got the idea from that.We also discovered that the Attack on Titan theme song and Beyonces single ladies video match up pretty well, don’t ask, just go look it up. Do it.
When the final day came we drew blind, bet on who would win in a fight (to which the answer is never underestimate cute girls and DIALOGUE boxes.), looked at various merchandise, and discovered who won the glorious AMV contest. The winners and also those who did not win are probably far better at AMVs’ than I will ever be and I am glad to watch their works. Then the little piggy’s went home.
I have only been to Otafest and Animethon, but my favourite thing about these anime conventions are the people who make it possible. Both the coordinators and the attendees. They are all what makes this community so strong. Anime is an art that brings people of all different background and ethnicities and interests and art styles and quirks together. The art of anime is what brings us together. It is a beautiful thing.
Thanks for reading.
DramAntics for the win! by Ian Westacott
DramAntics Youth Theatre Camp is one of the best programs offered by the Alexandra Centre Society that isn't run by goblins. Going through the process of writing a play all the way to preforming it within a week is enjoyable especially creating the costumes and props ourselves. As I was in this camp I will have to warn you of the dangers that are including but not limited to: water elementals, being stabbed in the back by your best friend, PTSD from stabbing your best friend in the back (*as a character in both cases - not real life, promise. - Editor), gravity fluctuations, and spontaneous combustion.
Characters by RIO
ARROWHEAD
Unicorn, 14 years old, born in Mane-Hatten, height 3' 1 3/4", Female, Hair is mahogany and crimson, Eyes are forest green, Major skill is combat magic. Minor Skill is transmogrification.
Father - Red Flash
Mother - Rough Diamond
Siblings - Alli Kat
Personality: Serious, cold, soft spot for cat and dragons. Has a habit of tapping hooves nervously.
History: Snuck into a no-nonsense private school and was taught to be uncaring for anyone but herself.
Unicorn, 14 years old, born in Mane-Hatten, height 3' 1 3/4", Female, Hair is mahogany and crimson, Eyes are forest green, Major skill is combat magic. Minor Skill is transmogrification.
Father - Red Flash
Mother - Rough Diamond
Siblings - Alli Kat
Personality: Serious, cold, soft spot for cat and dragons. Has a habit of tapping hooves nervously.
History: Snuck into a no-nonsense private school and was taught to be uncaring for anyone but herself.
RICK REMINGTON
A man born in Badasse, Italy. He's 6' 4" with muscles and perfect hair and eyes. His major skill is being a bad ass.
Father - dead
Mother - dead
Siblings - evil twin brother
Other - one great uncle once removed (bad ass sensei)
Special Characteristics - Did I mention the rocket launcher arm? Making a really good movie hero.
He has abs. Lots of abs.
Personality - besides abs, kind of an A-hole. Says: "It's past your deadtime!"
History - mysterious past, blah, blah, blah...
A man born in Badasse, Italy. He's 6' 4" with muscles and perfect hair and eyes. His major skill is being a bad ass.
Father - dead
Mother - dead
Siblings - evil twin brother
Other - one great uncle once removed (bad ass sensei)
Special Characteristics - Did I mention the rocket launcher arm? Making a really good movie hero.
He has abs. Lots of abs.
Personality - besides abs, kind of an A-hole. Says: "It's past your deadtime!"
History - mysterious past, blah, blah, blah...
SETH
He's human - sort of. He's thirteen when he was killed three hundred years ago - so 313? He comes from a little, severely Christian hamlet where he was killed for practicing magic. He weighs 83 lbs, he's blonde, and has one red eye which used to be blue. His other eye has fallen out and dangles down his face. His major skill is wizardry and his minor skill is being super done with every situation. He travels with his adventuring party and Sseth, a demon who was bound to his soul when some amateur wizards tried to summon Sseth the demon and got Seth the dead boy making them give up half way through the ceremony.
He can do a complete back bend - due to a broken back. It's freaky. Also he's bleeding constantly. He has a zombie eye falling out of his right socket and he's bloody. His personality can be described as done, so done. His special item is his wizard hat.
He's human - sort of. He's thirteen when he was killed three hundred years ago - so 313? He comes from a little, severely Christian hamlet where he was killed for practicing magic. He weighs 83 lbs, he's blonde, and has one red eye which used to be blue. His other eye has fallen out and dangles down his face. His major skill is wizardry and his minor skill is being super done with every situation. He travels with his adventuring party and Sseth, a demon who was bound to his soul when some amateur wizards tried to summon Sseth the demon and got Seth the dead boy making them give up half way through the ceremony.
He can do a complete back bend - due to a broken back. It's freaky. Also he's bleeding constantly. He has a zombie eye falling out of his right socket and he's bloody. His personality can be described as done, so done. His special item is his wizard hat.
BRIAN
A demon from the dark palace of the underworld. He's 5', 200 lbs, with black oily hair and red eyes. His major skill is demonic magic and demonic sword play. His minor skill is heat resistance.
Father - Lord of Evil
Mother - Lady of Evil
Siblings - Brah, sister, sister
He is cowardly, kind (due to a curse), and kind of pathetic. He's short, fat, with a painter's brush mustache, a loin cloth, horns, and a tail. He is crafty and easily succumbs to peer pressure. He has a demonic knife and an amulet.
History - After attacking a paladin order and being the only demon captured alive, he was cursed with kindness. Shortly after, he was banished from the underworld and is forced to live in the mortal plane.
A demon from the dark palace of the underworld. He's 5', 200 lbs, with black oily hair and red eyes. His major skill is demonic magic and demonic sword play. His minor skill is heat resistance.
Father - Lord of Evil
Mother - Lady of Evil
Siblings - Brah, sister, sister
He is cowardly, kind (due to a curse), and kind of pathetic. He's short, fat, with a painter's brush mustache, a loin cloth, horns, and a tail. He is crafty and easily succumbs to peer pressure. He has a demonic knife and an amulet.
History - After attacking a paladin order and being the only demon captured alive, he was cursed with kindness. Shortly after, he was banished from the underworld and is forced to live in the mortal plane.
SIGIL
He is a godling. We're not sure of the age but he looks twentyish. His hair is blue and his eyes are silvery. He has a major skill of magic and a minor skill of singing. He has god like powers, magic, a guitar, and a nice voice. He's a super hipster with lots of tattoos and a tail. He's flirty, charismatic, and confident.
He is a godling. We're not sure of the age but he looks twentyish. His hair is blue and his eyes are silvery. He has a major skill of magic and a minor skill of singing. He has god like powers, magic, a guitar, and a nice voice. He's a super hipster with lots of tattoos and a tail. He's flirty, charismatic, and confident.
PIXY LOTTIE
She is a flying human (NOT FAIRY)! She's 16, 5' 5", and skinny with short dark brown hair and blue eyes. Her major skills are dancing with a minor skill of flying.
Father - Potta Lottie
Mother - Pansy Lottie-Dash
Siblings - Dixy Lottie
Her special characteristics are her wings. She is sassy (snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap - did you see that sass! Snap)!
She is a flying human (NOT FAIRY)! She's 16, 5' 5", and skinny with short dark brown hair and blue eyes. Her major skills are dancing with a minor skill of flying.
Father - Potta Lottie
Mother - Pansy Lottie-Dash
Siblings - Dixy Lottie
Her special characteristics are her wings. She is sassy (snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap - did you see that sass! Snap)!