REALITY IS OPTIONAL
SPRING E-ZINE
FLOWERS, PRINCESSES, AND MAYHEM
Diaries of a Princess
The Kidnapped Princess - by Edwin
Dear Diary,
This morning I was just going to my dungeon home when my mom (who is very mean, by the way) told need to go to get some food from the forest so I went to get it. Just then a couple people noticed I was the princess who had been kidnapped 10 years ago. They tried to kidnap me again but luckily a prince came by. I said, thank you and went to picking some more berries I really hope we meet again.
Dear Diary,
This morning I was just going to my dungeon home when my mom (who is very mean, by the way) told need to go to get some food from the forest so I went to get it. Just then a couple people noticed I was the princess who had been kidnapped 10 years ago. They tried to kidnap me again but luckily a prince came by. I said, thank you and went to picking some more berries I really hope we meet again.
The Deja Vu Princess - by RePeter
Dear Diary,
Today was just so wonderful! I was woken up by a beautiful prince, again, and I found the man of my dreams, again, and I even saw him fight a dragon, again! When he woke me up by a kiss of his lips, I saw the world in a new perspective, like I do every time something like this happens. And people say my days are repetitive, but that’s nonsense! My days are always different: One day I was woken up by a prince in my bed, and another day I was woken up by a different prince on the bench outside my kingdom! And frankly, the first prince died fighting heroically to a red dragon, whereas the other prince died fighting a GREEN dragon! It’s always new and surprising. One time, I was even woken up from a coffin, and I saw seven dwarves there! Every day brings something new. And it’s wonderful. I can’t wait for the place I wake up in tomorrow, the colour hair my new prince has, and what colour dragon he will die fighting for me. As always, I will write again tomorrow.
Dear Diary,
Today was just so wonderful! I was woken up by a beautiful prince, again, and I found the man of my dreams, again, and I even saw him fight a dragon, again! When he woke me up by a kiss of his lips, I saw the world in a new perspective, like I do every time something like this happens. And people say my days are repetitive, but that’s nonsense! My days are always different: One day I was woken up by a prince in my bed, and another day I was woken up by a different prince on the bench outside my kingdom! And frankly, the first prince died fighting heroically to a red dragon, whereas the other prince died fighting a GREEN dragon! It’s always new and surprising. One time, I was even woken up from a coffin, and I saw seven dwarves there! Every day brings something new. And it’s wonderful. I can’t wait for the place I wake up in tomorrow, the colour hair my new prince has, and what colour dragon he will die fighting for me. As always, I will write again tomorrow.
The Slaughtering Princess - by Edwin
Dear Diary,
This morning I woke up and heard dragon roar some screaming and some crunching. I went to go see what it was. Apparently it was a prince trying to kill the dragon Prince you're so stupid thinking like we've princesses need saving when what we really need is a chance to slaughter the dragon. Tomorrow I will see if I can find a griffin. I heard those were fun to slaughter.
PS, no dragons were harmed in the making of this diary except for the Dragon skin on the cover.
Dear Diary,
This morning I woke up and heard dragon roar some screaming and some crunching. I went to go see what it was. Apparently it was a prince trying to kill the dragon Prince you're so stupid thinking like we've princesses need saving when what we really need is a chance to slaughter the dragon. Tomorrow I will see if I can find a griffin. I heard those were fun to slaughter.
PS, no dragons were harmed in the making of this diary except for the Dragon skin on the cover.
A Princess Named Highway - by RePeter
Dear Diary,
The name’s Highway. I was your stereotypical princess when I was a child, wasting time chasing after butterflies and singing about how perfect I thought the world was. Instead, I could have been working for that hard earned scar under my left eye or the unlikely weapon I use to kill the princes who treat me like I’m some stupid baby. They call me the Highway because every second of my life, I’m on my way down to hell, and I’m willing to bring anyone in my way with me.
I work with a two-chance system. The first time you’re in my way, I tell you to get away from me, because I want nothing to do with you. The second time you get in my way, you can say goodbye to your throat and hello to the afterlife. Because I’m not letting you bring me down while I’m on my up to the top. And when I get to the top, I'm taking over the world, and I’m making it better for only two things: My cat and me. And if anything happens to my cat, then I’ll kill everyone that I see and then myself.
So, stay out of my way, but remember that I exist. And that I’m the soon to be evil overlord, so you might as well bow down to me already. In fact, if you don’t, don’t be surprised if I bring out the good ol’ machete.
Dear Diary,
The name’s Highway. I was your stereotypical princess when I was a child, wasting time chasing after butterflies and singing about how perfect I thought the world was. Instead, I could have been working for that hard earned scar under my left eye or the unlikely weapon I use to kill the princes who treat me like I’m some stupid baby. They call me the Highway because every second of my life, I’m on my way down to hell, and I’m willing to bring anyone in my way with me.
I work with a two-chance system. The first time you’re in my way, I tell you to get away from me, because I want nothing to do with you. The second time you get in my way, you can say goodbye to your throat and hello to the afterlife. Because I’m not letting you bring me down while I’m on my up to the top. And when I get to the top, I'm taking over the world, and I’m making it better for only two things: My cat and me. And if anything happens to my cat, then I’ll kill everyone that I see and then myself.
So, stay out of my way, but remember that I exist. And that I’m the soon to be evil overlord, so you might as well bow down to me already. In fact, if you don’t, don’t be surprised if I bring out the good ol’ machete.