REALITY IS OPTIONAL SUMMER E-ZINE
A TIME OF GIANT FLOWERS AND ITTY BITTY MOOSE
WELCOME TO the
Reality is Optional Writing Club Oddly Sized Creatures National Park
Your pamphlet...
Your ticket...
Your map...
And now... through the door...
BUT FIRST! A WARNING!
On with the show...
WELCOME TO THE ODDLY SIZED CREATURES NATIONAL PARK!
It's time for a tour of our best oddly sized animals and attractions! Here we go!
It's time for a tour of our best oddly sized animals and attractions! Here we go!
We here at the Oddly Sized Creatures National Park hope that you enjoyed your stay and come again!
Writing Prompts by RIOites
- Write a story starting with as... or don't
- Write a story starting with someone waking up... or don't
- Listen to a song, then, write a story that fits it
- Write the end of a story with the highest stakes ever
- Write a story that starts with death
- Write a story about anything, but IN SPACE
- Write a story abut mad basement dwellers who rule the world
- Write about one of your dreams
- Write about your life, but AWESOME
- Write about your life, but TERRIBLE
- Write about the RIO Building
- Write a story where each sentence starts with the next letter of the alphabet
- Write a line of dialogue, then a response, keep going
- Write a sound effect, then who caused it, keep going
- Write about everything that stresses you out
- Write an infomercial for a terrible product as inspiration
- Grab a sentence out of a random book and make a story out of it
- Write about killing princesses- kill all the cliche princesses in a short story
- Write about the worst story your possibly can and generate good ideas from how bad your story is
- Write down a bunch of nouns, articles, pronouns, verbs, etc. and try to assemble a story
- Make a mind map about tough situations in your life and write about one of them
- Write about something in space (again, but crazier this time)
- Have your character open the fridge and see a headless mermaid pop out
- Start with a really random plot twist where you get stuffed into a tuba
- Pick a word from the dictionary
- Put on pirate accordion music
- Write a novel- not in one year, not in one month, not in one week, in a hour!
- Imitate an AI trying (and failing) to imitate human creativity
- Add 'space' and/or 'pirates' to anything (even crazier this time!)
- Put something through Google Translate a bunch of times and use it as a prompt
- Have a fake sword fight in the snow
- Write a ghoul story
Writing Advice from RIOites
- Attend RIO
- Get paper
- Sharpen pencil
- Put something boring in space (we really like space!)
- Base a story off of something dumb
- Spin the wheel of genre
- Copy off of someone else and don't give them credit
- Grab a blank piece of paper, a pencil or pen, a chair, and a flat surface. Then you put your paper on the flat surface, sit in the chair, and grab your pen. Next you put the pen on the paper and make a word. Keep repeating this until you have a story! :)
How Not to Get Started Writing by RIOites
- Never start with someone waking up
- Never start with this then this then this then this- no shopping lists!
Unfortunately, Fortunately by the Reality is Optional Writing Club
Unfortunately, my dog rolled down a hill and exploded.
Fortunately, it survived- barely.
Unfortunately, it made a deal with a demon.
Fortunately, he was a nice demon and healed my doggo.
Unfortunately, the demon had Covid-19 and passed it on to my dog.
Fortunately, he didn't pass it on to me- just my annoying cousin.
Unfortunately, I had my arm dislocated.
Fortunately, I got some marshmallows for free.
Unfortunately, I screamed.
Fortunately, nobody heard and I ran away.
Unfortunately, I dropped my marshmallows.
Fortunately, I had chocolate.
Unfortunately, the chocolate was laced with poison and I'm writing this in the afterlife.
Unfortunately, my family's car got blown up when we were in the superstore.
Fortunately, I got the family money.
Unfortunately, then money is all in cash and I have no where to put it.
Fortunately, I fell off my boat.
Unfortunately, there were an unlimited number of sharks and I lost my leg.
Fortunately, I got a robotic assistant to hunt the sharks.
Fortunately, I found a new wife.
Unfortunately, she was a gold digger and was really annoying.
Fortunately, we broke up and I met a unicorn named Armando Jr.
Unfortunately, she turned out to be IMAGINARY.
Fortunately, the whole world thought I was crazy and I got money.
Unfortunately, I died and couldn't use the money.
Fortunately, I won a trip to Disney.
Unfortunately, the trip was hijacked in the plane.
Fortunately, I jumped out and landed in a private pool.
Unfortunately, I peed in the pool and got a fine.
Fortunately, I can run so I ran from the fine and didn't have pay it.
Unfortunately, I am banned from every pool in the world.
Unfortunately, my jeep exploded.
Fortunately, the only person in the car was the ghost haunting me.
Unfortunately, the ghost didn't die because he was already dead.
Fortunately, I have an exorcist friend.
Unfortunately, he became a real idiot by dumping all his books out the window.
Fortunately, I got all the books.
Unfortunately, I lost my left leg in the battle of badoobedoo.
Fortunately, I got gifted a jeep truck low rider.
Unfortunately, it rolled down three cliffs.
Fortunately, it is indestructible.
Unfortunately, a bomb that could destroy indestructible metal killed me. I'm now writing this in the underworld.
Fortunately, I found my cat playing.
Unfortunately, with her $100 toy.
Fortunately, the hundred dollars wasn't mine.
Unfortunately, it was my brothers?
Fortunately, I WON THE LOTTERY!
Unfortunately, it was only 2 dollars.
The end.
Fortunately, it survived- barely.
Unfortunately, it made a deal with a demon.
Fortunately, he was a nice demon and healed my doggo.
Unfortunately, the demon had Covid-19 and passed it on to my dog.
Fortunately, he didn't pass it on to me- just my annoying cousin.
Unfortunately, I had my arm dislocated.
Fortunately, I got some marshmallows for free.
Unfortunately, I screamed.
Fortunately, nobody heard and I ran away.
Unfortunately, I dropped my marshmallows.
Fortunately, I had chocolate.
Unfortunately, the chocolate was laced with poison and I'm writing this in the afterlife.
Unfortunately, my family's car got blown up when we were in the superstore.
Fortunately, I got the family money.
Unfortunately, then money is all in cash and I have no where to put it.
Fortunately, I fell off my boat.
Unfortunately, there were an unlimited number of sharks and I lost my leg.
Fortunately, I got a robotic assistant to hunt the sharks.
Fortunately, I found a new wife.
Unfortunately, she was a gold digger and was really annoying.
Fortunately, we broke up and I met a unicorn named Armando Jr.
Unfortunately, she turned out to be IMAGINARY.
Fortunately, the whole world thought I was crazy and I got money.
Unfortunately, I died and couldn't use the money.
Fortunately, I won a trip to Disney.
Unfortunately, the trip was hijacked in the plane.
Fortunately, I jumped out and landed in a private pool.
Unfortunately, I peed in the pool and got a fine.
Fortunately, I can run so I ran from the fine and didn't have pay it.
Unfortunately, I am banned from every pool in the world.
Unfortunately, my jeep exploded.
Fortunately, the only person in the car was the ghost haunting me.
Unfortunately, the ghost didn't die because he was already dead.
Fortunately, I have an exorcist friend.
Unfortunately, he became a real idiot by dumping all his books out the window.
Fortunately, I got all the books.
Unfortunately, I lost my left leg in the battle of badoobedoo.
Fortunately, I got gifted a jeep truck low rider.
Unfortunately, it rolled down three cliffs.
Fortunately, it is indestructible.
Unfortunately, a bomb that could destroy indestructible metal killed me. I'm now writing this in the underworld.
Fortunately, I found my cat playing.
Unfortunately, with her $100 toy.
Fortunately, the hundred dollars wasn't mine.
Unfortunately, it was my brothers?
Fortunately, I WON THE LOTTERY!
Unfortunately, it was only 2 dollars.
The end.
Your News by RIO
Ready to Take a Family Road Trip this Summer? (by the Reality is Optional Writing Club)
We hope you enjoyed the trip!
Fun Drawings!
Radio Plays by the RIOites
Traffic Report
Hello, it's John, with the traffic report, and today there's a closure on the freeway. Which could mean a food storage, which could mean government collapse, which could mean war, which could mean the apocalypse, which could mean certain death. Or, it could just mean a slight delay. We'll see.
Richy-Richville
Once upon a time, Moneybags McMoolah had way too much cash, so he used some of it to build a pool, and put to rest in it. People though this was so cool, that they would pay Moneybags Mc Moolah so he would let them swim in it. Then, Moneybags Mc Moolah opened the Ye Old Money Shoppe. He sells money and people buy it. $1 costs $1.50.
Comehavefunville
In the town of Comehavefuneville lives the Gingersprites. They are small and orange with pointy ears, and their chief amusement is to lure and kill humans. First off, there is an endless loop-de-loop. You can get on, but you can't get off, and you ride it until you die. A magical pipe organ plays an alluring melody that is irresistible, and makes you ride the rollercoaster. Then, there is the Rollercoaster of Death. A sign in front taunts, "Bet you're too scared." After reading it, all overconfident nincompoops rise to the challenge and die. The force of gravity you experience kills you. But, just, in case it doesn't, the rollercoaster launches you into a volcano. Lastly, we come to the Chloroform Tree. Basically, the Chloroform Tree emits chloroform, then you fall asleep. Forever. That is why the Gingersprites have a graveyard. That is where they put the bodies of their victims. It is very full.
Beth's Story
Hello. My name is Beth. I have a grandson named baby Mark.
I am 53 years young. I have two dogs named Walter and Grizly. Ginger Ale is my favorite drink of all time and I have a husband named Shane.
Snowball's Report
Hello, my name is Sandy. I have brought my cat, Snowball, to test some new cat food. Along with Snowball trying this wonderful brand, I will be trying some as well. I am quite fond of cat food.
Weather Forecast
And today it's raining on the forecast. And that means thunder, and that could mean lightning, and that could mean fire, and that could mean total government collapse, and that could mean war, and that could mean the apocalypse!
Shrine the Character
Hello, it's John, with the traffic report, and today there's a closure on the freeway. Which could mean a food storage, which could mean government collapse, which could mean war, which could mean the apocalypse, which could mean certain death. Or, it could just mean a slight delay. We'll see.
Richy-Richville
Once upon a time, Moneybags McMoolah had way too much cash, so he used some of it to build a pool, and put to rest in it. People though this was so cool, that they would pay Moneybags Mc Moolah so he would let them swim in it. Then, Moneybags Mc Moolah opened the Ye Old Money Shoppe. He sells money and people buy it. $1 costs $1.50.
Comehavefunville
In the town of Comehavefuneville lives the Gingersprites. They are small and orange with pointy ears, and their chief amusement is to lure and kill humans. First off, there is an endless loop-de-loop. You can get on, but you can't get off, and you ride it until you die. A magical pipe organ plays an alluring melody that is irresistible, and makes you ride the rollercoaster. Then, there is the Rollercoaster of Death. A sign in front taunts, "Bet you're too scared." After reading it, all overconfident nincompoops rise to the challenge and die. The force of gravity you experience kills you. But, just, in case it doesn't, the rollercoaster launches you into a volcano. Lastly, we come to the Chloroform Tree. Basically, the Chloroform Tree emits chloroform, then you fall asleep. Forever. That is why the Gingersprites have a graveyard. That is where they put the bodies of their victims. It is very full.
Beth's Story
Hello. My name is Beth. I have a grandson named baby Mark.
I am 53 years young. I have two dogs named Walter and Grizly. Ginger Ale is my favorite drink of all time and I have a husband named Shane.
Snowball's Report
Hello, my name is Sandy. I have brought my cat, Snowball, to test some new cat food. Along with Snowball trying this wonderful brand, I will be trying some as well. I am quite fond of cat food.
Weather Forecast
And today it's raining on the forecast. And that means thunder, and that could mean lightning, and that could mean fire, and that could mean total government collapse, and that could mean war, and that could mean the apocalypse!
Shrine the Character
- Introvert
- Squeaky Voice
- SHY
- Bad at giving her opinion
- "Okay, okay- we've heard enough. NEXT! Could you PLEASE look outside your window? We..." -Shrine's mean boss
La-z Dude's Report
We are expecting tornados and tsunamis tomorrow. It will be very cloudy. It looks like the tornado will hit at 5:00pm and the tsunami will hit at 7:30pm.
We are expecting tornados and tsunamis tomorrow. It will be very cloudy. It looks like the tornado will hit at 5:00pm and the tsunami will hit at 7:30pm.
Leon Bardon's Report
Last night, the Philadelphia Pigeons beat the Berlin Bluebirds. Tune in tonight to see them go up against the Rochester Robins. In other news, the people with fishing nets got three picnic balls into the net.
Last night, the Philadelphia Pigeons beat the Berlin Bluebirds. Tune in tonight to see them go up against the Rochester Robins. In other news, the people with fishing nets got three picnic balls into the net.
Amazon by Hariram Menon
It's green, moist, and vibrant everywhere.
There are irritating flies buzzing in my hair.
A toucan flies through the clear, blue sky.
I watch a red-eyed tree frog hop by.
Monkeys rapidly swing in the leafy canopy.
A sloth dangles from the branch lazily.
In the rushing river I spot a crocodile, gloating at me with a toothy smile.
As I walk though the rainforest, there are ferns, shrubs, and other plants all around.
I trip on a root and fall to the ground.
In the bushes behind me, I hear a rather peculiar sound.
To my surprise, an anteater pops out just when I turn around.
I have been in the humid rainforest for far to long.
And all I have to comfort me are the bird's cheery smile.
But, when the bright sun goes down, I shiver with fright, wondering what might be hiding in the night.
Is there a spotted jaguar in the dark?
Or a pit viper ready to make it's mark?
At last I put my worries aside and head to sleep.
The dark jungle doesn't make a peep.
My family's trip to the jungle was quite wild.
As I look back on it, I fondly smile.
There are irritating flies buzzing in my hair.
A toucan flies through the clear, blue sky.
I watch a red-eyed tree frog hop by.
Monkeys rapidly swing in the leafy canopy.
A sloth dangles from the branch lazily.
In the rushing river I spot a crocodile, gloating at me with a toothy smile.
As I walk though the rainforest, there are ferns, shrubs, and other plants all around.
I trip on a root and fall to the ground.
In the bushes behind me, I hear a rather peculiar sound.
To my surprise, an anteater pops out just when I turn around.
I have been in the humid rainforest for far to long.
And all I have to comfort me are the bird's cheery smile.
But, when the bright sun goes down, I shiver with fright, wondering what might be hiding in the night.
Is there a spotted jaguar in the dark?
Or a pit viper ready to make it's mark?
At last I put my worries aside and head to sleep.
The dark jungle doesn't make a peep.
My family's trip to the jungle was quite wild.
As I look back on it, I fondly smile.
Eye in Oil Pastel by Sydney Ball
Armando by Isaac Milne
There once lived a man,
By the name of Armando,
And his village was burning,
But Armando cared not, so,
He met a unicorn,
Named Napoleon, Ooh,
Said Armando when he learned,
That it could Time-Travel too!
I’m actually a robot,
Said Napoleon with a shrug,
I totally knew that,
Said Armando, looking smug.
They soon fell in love,
Then went back, back in time,
To when Human Napoleon, Was continuing to climb,
They picked up H.N.
Then were off on their way,
But Armando fell off,
But his lover saved the day,
Yes, he dropped the French leader,
Then Armando was brought,
And they were married that day,
Upon the deck of Napoleon’s luxury yacht
By the name of Armando,
And his village was burning,
But Armando cared not, so,
He met a unicorn,
Named Napoleon, Ooh,
Said Armando when he learned,
That it could Time-Travel too!
I’m actually a robot,
Said Napoleon with a shrug,
I totally knew that,
Said Armando, looking smug.
They soon fell in love,
Then went back, back in time,
To when Human Napoleon, Was continuing to climb,
They picked up H.N.
Then were off on their way,
But Armando fell off,
But his lover saved the day,
Yes, he dropped the French leader,
Then Armando was brought,
And they were married that day,
Upon the deck of Napoleon’s luxury yacht
To the Moon, Back, and To the Moon Again (Hopefully) by Adonia Li, Kayla Leong, and Sydney Ball
July 15th, 1969- The Mouse
“Get out of my way, you scum, you’re not fit to be here,” muttered Curie, at Raterian Cheese School, as he shoved me out of the way. I tripped over my own feet and crashed into the wall.
“Hey! That’s rude,” Cody called out, quickly grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet.
Turning back, Curie snorted and said
“Did I ask?” then walked away smirking. I sighed.
“Look, Cody, you’ve got to stop doing this, just leave me alone,” I whispered, then quickly scurried away before he could catch up. Entering my classroom, I hunched over and slid to the table at the back of the class, hoping not to be noticed. As class began, the teacher began to explain the assignment for the next day; it was Show and Tell. I began doodling on my notebook and zoned out. I need to bring something cool, this is my chance to redeem myself and show others that I actually matter and that I belong here just as much as everyone else. Another sigh, I knew that would be impossible. I was very eager to go home again and just to relax and be myself without worrying about how I was just a single gray mouse in a school of white mice, and how no one cared about me, but then again, there wouldn’t be anyone home. No one to comfort me, and no one to talk to. A third sigh. Eventually, after an hour that felt like ten, the bell rang. As quick as lightning I bolted from the classroom, and ran a whole kilometre all the way back home over the fields and into the space station, fighting tears the whole way. Finally, I was home, a place where I wouldn’t be judged by anyone, and then I broke down. I cried for my parents, and I cried for myself, it isn’t my fault my parents died from a fire, and that I was really poor. It also isn’t my fault that I looked different because I was a gray mouse, and everyone else was white. Heartbroken, I dozed off to sleep.
Early this morning I woke up tired and cold. Had I forgotten to close the door yesterday night? Quickly I got up and got dressed, put on my hat, and headed outside. I lived by the space station so I thought maybe I could go there and find something interesting which would make me really popular, after all, not everyone has been in a spaceship before. Scurrying through the door of the Apollo spacecraft I found myself in a very odd place. Everything was so big and clean, with giant holes to hide and play in. I was astounded. I stumbled around through this maze and in the back of a fluffy man-sized couch there was a small crystal, it was about the size of my palm, and it sparkled. It was so mesmerizing, and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it, and I knew that other mice probably wouldn’t be able to either. I knew instantly that this would be the best show and tell item ever, I couldn't contain my excitement, and rushed back to the door, but it was shut.
Suddenly the speaker stuttered and said “T minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6”, I was paralyzed what is going to happen to me? “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”. Then the whole spacecraft just rocketed upwards. Unprepared, I was pushed down flat onto the floor, and I couldn’t get up. It felt like a hand was holding me down, and that all my organs had fallen out of my body. After what felt like hours of pain, it disappeared, just like that. I opened my eyes and I was suddenly floating in the spaceship. I floated and flew through the room, it was such an odd experience. Soon I heard something in the other room, there was someone talking over a small static speaker.
“Report, Apollo spacecraft mission 11 going off course, I repeat, Apollo spacecraft mission 11 going off course.” There were more murmurs in the room, so I floated over to listen.
“How can this be?” I heard someone ask urgently. “We measured the weight of everything on this spaceship to each gram, each milligram, and calculated everything so precisely!”
“I don’t know Michael, we must have missed something,” he whispered back.
Suddenly the speaker stuttered to life. “At this rate, the three of you may not make it to the moon, or even back home” There were small gasps from the room.
“Please, is there anything we can do at all to prevent this?” A third voice pleaded to the speaker.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Aldrin, all we can do is hope something changes,” the speaker replies.
“Please, we ask of you to at least tell our families that we’ll miss them and that we love them,” the man named Michael said.
I think to myself, Is this all because of me? Could a single tiny gray rat be the reason for this catastrophe? I was astonished, did I really matter? Did I really have an impact on this world and on its people? Would I be able to make a big enough difference and save these three people so they can return back to their families? I thought about my family that was no longer here, I wouldn’t want these people to feel the same pain I had felt, because after all I was the one who had caused this and I don’t have anything to lose over it. I made up my mind and I was going to save them.
I scurried about in the room, looking for a little hole where I could crawl out from. After running around for an hour I found a little tube behind the refrigerator that led to the outside. I grabbed my hat from this morning and began crawling through it. At the end of the tube, I took a deep breath, knowing that it would be my last, opened the hatch and jumped. I opened my eyes, I was speechless, it was so beautiful, and everything looked so calm and welcoming. The stars were bright, illuminating the space as far as I could see. I floated around and saw the earth. It looked so peaceful from here, it was hard to believe that it was where I came from. Then I realized that even though I had a tough time, it was the happiest times that really count in your life. Remembering the times when my parents were still here, even though we were poor, we were still happy, and that time when my little brother gave me a Christmas gift, something I had never gotten before. The way my mother had held me when I cried, as warm as the sun now shining on me. Holding on to these happy memories, I closed my eyes and drifted back towards them, to a place where I would finally belong.
April 27th, 2063- The Scientist
There have been more than a few problems about humanity’s evolution, and global warming is one of the big ones. Ever since 1988, it’s been getting worse and worse. Now, the Earth is almost at its end. We’ve only come up with a few solutions, but many of them risk humanity's end.
Chatter echoes around me as I bury my head in my hands, staring at the papers in front of me. ‘Preparing the moon for human life. Hmm.’ With all the new technology, you’d think this would be easy - except the technology is the reason we’re in this crisis to start with. I use my Projector to pull up a hologram of the plans. ‘Just a little bit more work and humanity is set for life.’ I think to myself. It’s late at night and everyone's still at the station.
I’m miserable the next morning. The led lights at the back of the room flicker on and off, distracting me from my work. ‘This is killing me,’ My head drops to my desk, my nose and forehead pressed on the cool, white surface. My skull pounds, and with every beat, my heart drums along with it.
“Coffee?” My desk partner’s voice makes me aware of other people slowly entering the office. I nod in appreciation. The pounding dulls.
“Project Aion is due in fifty years. Remember, that includes research, building, simulations, and trial runs. Right now, we’re standing at a good place on our timeline.” I stand at the front of the room, my voice projecting out. I run them through the basics, making sure everyone is on the same page.
I feel my thoughts float around my head, processing each one for a second before I move on. Opening my projector, I drag the keyboard to my desk and select the timeline document. ‘It’s only 2063 now. Only 2063. We have forty-nine more years. 2112. It’s in forty-nine more years.’ The angel on my shoulder rants into my ear, while the demon chews away part of my brain. I fiddle with the lock of hair that’s fallen in front of my left eye. I grit my teeth as my fingers fly across the keyboard. I pause for a moment, my finger hovering over the ‘enter’ key before it glides up to hit delete. Chatter around the office tells me that I’m not the only one in this miserable state.
Years pass with progress inching along, step by step. People, along with their ideas come and go. We build, code, and program. Parties celebrating our success, and lessons learned from our failures.
“Are we ready?” The large Projector at the start of the room holds our first simulation - calculations and everything.
“Three, two, one,” The countdown ends with the click of a button. This is only to test the success of the launch, journey, and land. The room is silent. The rocket leaves the atmosphere. It floats through space, aiming for where the moon will be.
Red sirens, the hologram freezes - warning signs flashing all over. The room releases its breath. It was just a draft, so why were we all so hopeful?
“Not enough fuel?” Somebody inquires.
“Fuel level is still at twenty-four percent. The fuel-saving plan did work.” We all cast the plans on Projectors.
“Maybe something to do with trajectory?” The rocket was still on track to arrive at the moon in three days.
“Oxygen level for the two thousand people on board?” The filters were still on and working.
This wasn’t our first block in the plan. After all, trial and error was the basis of our plan. The mood is never the same, after a failure. We all go back to our desks, triple-checking everything. Everything is fine. The program was running smoothly, the calculations were all correct, and everything was supposed to be perfect.
I stand up, brushing a lock of hair out of my face before sweat plasters it to my head. I walk over and look out the window. ‘I wonder if they know,’ I think to myself. ‘I wonder if they know that humanity’s fate revolves around this building.’.
No progress is made for weeks. The simulation always stops at the same spot, the same sirens sound, and the same red signs flash.
My head drops to my desk, as I envision the flashing red signs on my desk. There may be no hope left.
April 1st, 2113- The Nobody
Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock’s shrill voice echoed through the school gym. A person yawned in front of me. Someone in a crinkly coat shifted. Footsteps pounded the wooden floor. My heart was in my throat, a common side effect of the boiling, polluted air.
I tugged at my collar. I had always hated rooms full of people.
“Excuse me?” A clerk with a numb stare handed me a digital pen. “It’s your turn. Go in there to vote.”
I nodded, palms clamming up. I felt like I was invisible.
It’s funny how nobodies are forgotten so easily.
The voting booths were separated by black curtains that gave off a faint odor of ink. It reminded me of last year’s electricity crisis. It was the first time I’d held an ink pen. So many crises these days.
I wrote the date on the screen: April 1st, 2113. The question below it burned my eyes: Should we send everyone to the moon on risky ships? Or use the one safe ship and send a hundred people. A cold, manic laugh escaped my lips. Those dangerous ships were called the Catastrophes. Fitting.
I checked ‘Save everyone.’
Stupid mechanics. Can't even do their jobs right.
The air was steaming outside. I peeled back my sweater and wiped my brow. Just beyond the dead trees, a crowd surrounded a greasy man shouting from a platform. I walked across the dead grass to the group.
“And if we vote for everyone, where will that get us?” he drawled, pristine suit unaffected by the hot air. “The human population must continue on at whatever costs!”
A reporter pointed their microphone at the man. “And, Mr. States, if the thousand people option were to be picked, who would you suggest be included on the guest list?”
“My self of course.” He raised his hand to his chin. “And I suppose Robert Downey Jr, Steve Jobs, and Chris Hadfield, who could show us the ropes.”
“Uh, Mr. States, Steve Jobs is dead,” said the reporter.
Mr. States looked like an apple, “Do not question my knowledge! I have much more education as a politician than a reporter!”
“Sorry,” muttered the reporter.
I turned on my heel and stomped away. Stupid Mr. States. I got in my used Minivan, slammed the door, brushed last night’s fast food crumbs away, and turned on the radio. Mr. States’ interview with Alex Falon, host of ‘What’s Up World?’ played.
“You see, Alex, the only way that we’re going to get anywhere with this crisis is to get our priorities straight. We must put the survival of our population before individuals.”
I clicked off the radio and turned onto a familiar dirt road. Birds twittered, perfectly in tune.
I got out and walked the rest of the way.
One.
Two.
Three.
I counted my paces. The rhythm was steady, like a heartbeat.
Twenty.
Thirty.
Forty.
Ducks quacked without a care in the world. I sat down beside the water, grinning at the setting sun.
I’ll just stay here forever.
I could almost hear my father’s booming voice telling me I would be okay.
The crispy grass crunched under me. I lay down, watching the stars peek out from behind the clouds.
My phone buzzed, jolting me awake. There was a notification: Election Results Counted.
I sat up, black dots clouding my vision. I clicked the article.
My phone went black. It had died. I groaned, jumping up and sprinting back to my car. I hit the engine and turned on the radio. I could only hear snippets of the conversation. Must be the floods wrecking the powerlines.
I raced back onto the road, heading closer to the city. The radio uttered a single sentence:
Now every single one of us just has to survive on the moon.
Tension in my muscles was released. I cried for sheer joy.
I get to live.
Funny how a mouse, a scientist, and a nobody can be so similar.
Funny that they’re treated so differently.
“Get out of my way, you scum, you’re not fit to be here,” muttered Curie, at Raterian Cheese School, as he shoved me out of the way. I tripped over my own feet and crashed into the wall.
“Hey! That’s rude,” Cody called out, quickly grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet.
Turning back, Curie snorted and said
“Did I ask?” then walked away smirking. I sighed.
“Look, Cody, you’ve got to stop doing this, just leave me alone,” I whispered, then quickly scurried away before he could catch up. Entering my classroom, I hunched over and slid to the table at the back of the class, hoping not to be noticed. As class began, the teacher began to explain the assignment for the next day; it was Show and Tell. I began doodling on my notebook and zoned out. I need to bring something cool, this is my chance to redeem myself and show others that I actually matter and that I belong here just as much as everyone else. Another sigh, I knew that would be impossible. I was very eager to go home again and just to relax and be myself without worrying about how I was just a single gray mouse in a school of white mice, and how no one cared about me, but then again, there wouldn’t be anyone home. No one to comfort me, and no one to talk to. A third sigh. Eventually, after an hour that felt like ten, the bell rang. As quick as lightning I bolted from the classroom, and ran a whole kilometre all the way back home over the fields and into the space station, fighting tears the whole way. Finally, I was home, a place where I wouldn’t be judged by anyone, and then I broke down. I cried for my parents, and I cried for myself, it isn’t my fault my parents died from a fire, and that I was really poor. It also isn’t my fault that I looked different because I was a gray mouse, and everyone else was white. Heartbroken, I dozed off to sleep.
Early this morning I woke up tired and cold. Had I forgotten to close the door yesterday night? Quickly I got up and got dressed, put on my hat, and headed outside. I lived by the space station so I thought maybe I could go there and find something interesting which would make me really popular, after all, not everyone has been in a spaceship before. Scurrying through the door of the Apollo spacecraft I found myself in a very odd place. Everything was so big and clean, with giant holes to hide and play in. I was astounded. I stumbled around through this maze and in the back of a fluffy man-sized couch there was a small crystal, it was about the size of my palm, and it sparkled. It was so mesmerizing, and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it, and I knew that other mice probably wouldn’t be able to either. I knew instantly that this would be the best show and tell item ever, I couldn't contain my excitement, and rushed back to the door, but it was shut.
Suddenly the speaker stuttered and said “T minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6”, I was paralyzed what is going to happen to me? “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”. Then the whole spacecraft just rocketed upwards. Unprepared, I was pushed down flat onto the floor, and I couldn’t get up. It felt like a hand was holding me down, and that all my organs had fallen out of my body. After what felt like hours of pain, it disappeared, just like that. I opened my eyes and I was suddenly floating in the spaceship. I floated and flew through the room, it was such an odd experience. Soon I heard something in the other room, there was someone talking over a small static speaker.
“Report, Apollo spacecraft mission 11 going off course, I repeat, Apollo spacecraft mission 11 going off course.” There were more murmurs in the room, so I floated over to listen.
“How can this be?” I heard someone ask urgently. “We measured the weight of everything on this spaceship to each gram, each milligram, and calculated everything so precisely!”
“I don’t know Michael, we must have missed something,” he whispered back.
Suddenly the speaker stuttered to life. “At this rate, the three of you may not make it to the moon, or even back home” There were small gasps from the room.
“Please, is there anything we can do at all to prevent this?” A third voice pleaded to the speaker.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Aldrin, all we can do is hope something changes,” the speaker replies.
“Please, we ask of you to at least tell our families that we’ll miss them and that we love them,” the man named Michael said.
I think to myself, Is this all because of me? Could a single tiny gray rat be the reason for this catastrophe? I was astonished, did I really matter? Did I really have an impact on this world and on its people? Would I be able to make a big enough difference and save these three people so they can return back to their families? I thought about my family that was no longer here, I wouldn’t want these people to feel the same pain I had felt, because after all I was the one who had caused this and I don’t have anything to lose over it. I made up my mind and I was going to save them.
I scurried about in the room, looking for a little hole where I could crawl out from. After running around for an hour I found a little tube behind the refrigerator that led to the outside. I grabbed my hat from this morning and began crawling through it. At the end of the tube, I took a deep breath, knowing that it would be my last, opened the hatch and jumped. I opened my eyes, I was speechless, it was so beautiful, and everything looked so calm and welcoming. The stars were bright, illuminating the space as far as I could see. I floated around and saw the earth. It looked so peaceful from here, it was hard to believe that it was where I came from. Then I realized that even though I had a tough time, it was the happiest times that really count in your life. Remembering the times when my parents were still here, even though we were poor, we were still happy, and that time when my little brother gave me a Christmas gift, something I had never gotten before. The way my mother had held me when I cried, as warm as the sun now shining on me. Holding on to these happy memories, I closed my eyes and drifted back towards them, to a place where I would finally belong.
April 27th, 2063- The Scientist
There have been more than a few problems about humanity’s evolution, and global warming is one of the big ones. Ever since 1988, it’s been getting worse and worse. Now, the Earth is almost at its end. We’ve only come up with a few solutions, but many of them risk humanity's end.
Chatter echoes around me as I bury my head in my hands, staring at the papers in front of me. ‘Preparing the moon for human life. Hmm.’ With all the new technology, you’d think this would be easy - except the technology is the reason we’re in this crisis to start with. I use my Projector to pull up a hologram of the plans. ‘Just a little bit more work and humanity is set for life.’ I think to myself. It’s late at night and everyone's still at the station.
I’m miserable the next morning. The led lights at the back of the room flicker on and off, distracting me from my work. ‘This is killing me,’ My head drops to my desk, my nose and forehead pressed on the cool, white surface. My skull pounds, and with every beat, my heart drums along with it.
“Coffee?” My desk partner’s voice makes me aware of other people slowly entering the office. I nod in appreciation. The pounding dulls.
“Project Aion is due in fifty years. Remember, that includes research, building, simulations, and trial runs. Right now, we’re standing at a good place on our timeline.” I stand at the front of the room, my voice projecting out. I run them through the basics, making sure everyone is on the same page.
I feel my thoughts float around my head, processing each one for a second before I move on. Opening my projector, I drag the keyboard to my desk and select the timeline document. ‘It’s only 2063 now. Only 2063. We have forty-nine more years. 2112. It’s in forty-nine more years.’ The angel on my shoulder rants into my ear, while the demon chews away part of my brain. I fiddle with the lock of hair that’s fallen in front of my left eye. I grit my teeth as my fingers fly across the keyboard. I pause for a moment, my finger hovering over the ‘enter’ key before it glides up to hit delete. Chatter around the office tells me that I’m not the only one in this miserable state.
Years pass with progress inching along, step by step. People, along with their ideas come and go. We build, code, and program. Parties celebrating our success, and lessons learned from our failures.
“Are we ready?” The large Projector at the start of the room holds our first simulation - calculations and everything.
“Three, two, one,” The countdown ends with the click of a button. This is only to test the success of the launch, journey, and land. The room is silent. The rocket leaves the atmosphere. It floats through space, aiming for where the moon will be.
Red sirens, the hologram freezes - warning signs flashing all over. The room releases its breath. It was just a draft, so why were we all so hopeful?
“Not enough fuel?” Somebody inquires.
“Fuel level is still at twenty-four percent. The fuel-saving plan did work.” We all cast the plans on Projectors.
“Maybe something to do with trajectory?” The rocket was still on track to arrive at the moon in three days.
“Oxygen level for the two thousand people on board?” The filters were still on and working.
This wasn’t our first block in the plan. After all, trial and error was the basis of our plan. The mood is never the same, after a failure. We all go back to our desks, triple-checking everything. Everything is fine. The program was running smoothly, the calculations were all correct, and everything was supposed to be perfect.
I stand up, brushing a lock of hair out of my face before sweat plasters it to my head. I walk over and look out the window. ‘I wonder if they know,’ I think to myself. ‘I wonder if they know that humanity’s fate revolves around this building.’.
No progress is made for weeks. The simulation always stops at the same spot, the same sirens sound, and the same red signs flash.
My head drops to my desk, as I envision the flashing red signs on my desk. There may be no hope left.
April 1st, 2113- The Nobody
Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock’s shrill voice echoed through the school gym. A person yawned in front of me. Someone in a crinkly coat shifted. Footsteps pounded the wooden floor. My heart was in my throat, a common side effect of the boiling, polluted air.
I tugged at my collar. I had always hated rooms full of people.
“Excuse me?” A clerk with a numb stare handed me a digital pen. “It’s your turn. Go in there to vote.”
I nodded, palms clamming up. I felt like I was invisible.
It’s funny how nobodies are forgotten so easily.
The voting booths were separated by black curtains that gave off a faint odor of ink. It reminded me of last year’s electricity crisis. It was the first time I’d held an ink pen. So many crises these days.
I wrote the date on the screen: April 1st, 2113. The question below it burned my eyes: Should we send everyone to the moon on risky ships? Or use the one safe ship and send a hundred people. A cold, manic laugh escaped my lips. Those dangerous ships were called the Catastrophes. Fitting.
I checked ‘Save everyone.’
Stupid mechanics. Can't even do their jobs right.
The air was steaming outside. I peeled back my sweater and wiped my brow. Just beyond the dead trees, a crowd surrounded a greasy man shouting from a platform. I walked across the dead grass to the group.
“And if we vote for everyone, where will that get us?” he drawled, pristine suit unaffected by the hot air. “The human population must continue on at whatever costs!”
A reporter pointed their microphone at the man. “And, Mr. States, if the thousand people option were to be picked, who would you suggest be included on the guest list?”
“My self of course.” He raised his hand to his chin. “And I suppose Robert Downey Jr, Steve Jobs, and Chris Hadfield, who could show us the ropes.”
“Uh, Mr. States, Steve Jobs is dead,” said the reporter.
Mr. States looked like an apple, “Do not question my knowledge! I have much more education as a politician than a reporter!”
“Sorry,” muttered the reporter.
I turned on my heel and stomped away. Stupid Mr. States. I got in my used Minivan, slammed the door, brushed last night’s fast food crumbs away, and turned on the radio. Mr. States’ interview with Alex Falon, host of ‘What’s Up World?’ played.
“You see, Alex, the only way that we’re going to get anywhere with this crisis is to get our priorities straight. We must put the survival of our population before individuals.”
I clicked off the radio and turned onto a familiar dirt road. Birds twittered, perfectly in tune.
I got out and walked the rest of the way.
One.
Two.
Three.
I counted my paces. The rhythm was steady, like a heartbeat.
Twenty.
Thirty.
Forty.
Ducks quacked without a care in the world. I sat down beside the water, grinning at the setting sun.
I’ll just stay here forever.
I could almost hear my father’s booming voice telling me I would be okay.
The crispy grass crunched under me. I lay down, watching the stars peek out from behind the clouds.
My phone buzzed, jolting me awake. There was a notification: Election Results Counted.
I sat up, black dots clouding my vision. I clicked the article.
My phone went black. It had died. I groaned, jumping up and sprinting back to my car. I hit the engine and turned on the radio. I could only hear snippets of the conversation. Must be the floods wrecking the powerlines.
I raced back onto the road, heading closer to the city. The radio uttered a single sentence:
Now every single one of us just has to survive on the moon.
Tension in my muscles was released. I cried for sheer joy.
I get to live.
Funny how a mouse, a scientist, and a nobody can be so similar.
Funny that they’re treated so differently.
Blackout/Cutout Poetry by the Rogue Poets
Fold n' Pass by the Reality is Optional Writing Club
Staying A-Head by Sabina Ault and Lucas Diano
INT. DAY - BUSINESS OFFICE
Elevator doors open and we see a man walk out from his waist down. He walks up to a woman at a desk.
RECEPTIONIST
Hello mister, how may I help you?
MAN
Hi, I’m here for a job interview with Mr. Jetson for 2:00.
RECEPTIONIST
Of course, he's just in his office, you can go right in.
MAN
Thanks.
The MAN walks off screen whilst the RECEPTIONIST keeps her head down towards her computer, only looking up shortly to do a double-take in shock. The MAN keeps walking.
INT. DAY - MR. JETSON OFFICE
MR. JETSON is typing away at his computer. He looks up to see MAN. He gets startled and fumbles with his papers a bit before dropping them.
MAN
Hello Mr. Jetson, I’m here for the job interview. Sorry if I’m late, traffic was horrifying.
MR. JETSON
Oh no, that’s alright. Um, would you care to sit down?
MAN
Oh yeah thank you.
MR JETSON
So, uh, you are looking for a position within this company?
MAN
Yes. I saw the position was open and thought I would “throw my hat into the ring”.
MR. JETSON
W-well, thank you for throwing your head-I mean hat towards us, we value those who see the importance of the positions they hold.
As MR. JETSON is speaking, the MAN begins to shiver in his seat.
MR. JETSON
Is something the matter?
MAN
If you could, would you mind turning the air conditioning down? It’s rather cold.
MR. JETSON
Yes, it is a bit bone chilling-I mean chilly.
(beat)
…I’ll just turn it down.
MR. JETSON gets up for a moment, then sits down and buzzes his assistant to do it.
MAN
Thank you.
MR. JETSON
Your welcome. Now to get down to business. Why do you think you would be fit-er-suited for this position as a salesperson?
MAN
Well, I think I have a good head on my shoulders and I have lived a long and healthy life so I have a lot of experience.
MR. JETSON
O-kay. Thank you Mister…
MAN
Elman, Norm Elman.
MR. JETSON
Thank you Mr. Elman, We will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
MAN
Good day
The MAN walks away. The camera pans out to see a skull instead of the man's head. He walks out and fade to black.
Elevator doors open and we see a man walk out from his waist down. He walks up to a woman at a desk.
RECEPTIONIST
Hello mister, how may I help you?
MAN
Hi, I’m here for a job interview with Mr. Jetson for 2:00.
RECEPTIONIST
Of course, he's just in his office, you can go right in.
MAN
Thanks.
The MAN walks off screen whilst the RECEPTIONIST keeps her head down towards her computer, only looking up shortly to do a double-take in shock. The MAN keeps walking.
INT. DAY - MR. JETSON OFFICE
MR. JETSON is typing away at his computer. He looks up to see MAN. He gets startled and fumbles with his papers a bit before dropping them.
MAN
Hello Mr. Jetson, I’m here for the job interview. Sorry if I’m late, traffic was horrifying.
MR. JETSON
Oh no, that’s alright. Um, would you care to sit down?
MAN
Oh yeah thank you.
MR JETSON
So, uh, you are looking for a position within this company?
MAN
Yes. I saw the position was open and thought I would “throw my hat into the ring”.
MR. JETSON
W-well, thank you for throwing your head-I mean hat towards us, we value those who see the importance of the positions they hold.
As MR. JETSON is speaking, the MAN begins to shiver in his seat.
MR. JETSON
Is something the matter?
MAN
If you could, would you mind turning the air conditioning down? It’s rather cold.
MR. JETSON
Yes, it is a bit bone chilling-I mean chilly.
(beat)
…I’ll just turn it down.
MR. JETSON gets up for a moment, then sits down and buzzes his assistant to do it.
MAN
Thank you.
MR. JETSON
Your welcome. Now to get down to business. Why do you think you would be fit-er-suited for this position as a salesperson?
MAN
Well, I think I have a good head on my shoulders and I have lived a long and healthy life so I have a lot of experience.
MR. JETSON
O-kay. Thank you Mister…
MAN
Elman, Norm Elman.
MR. JETSON
Thank you Mr. Elman, We will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.
MAN
Good day
The MAN walks away. The camera pans out to see a skull instead of the man's head. He walks out and fade to black.
Comics by the Pen and Panel Club
How to get a Protege by Silvana Sabzevari
What is a Protege?
Great Question! A Protege is basically a student/sidekick put together. Some people who are experts in life fear that one day they will die & no one will succeed them & take their place. Well, GET A PROTEGE! First you must choose someone to be your one on one personal student. Make sure they’re younger than you & that they aren’t young/conscious enough to doubt whatever you say. See my Protege is a 10-year-old Brunette. I decided to take her under my wing because she was bad at running. Now she is skilled enough to Naruto run into a wall. She still isn’t & never will be as fast as me though. But today I will give you some tips about how to get a protege.
2. On average the best age difference is 2-4 grades. But you do you.
3. If you choose to have a Protege, make sure you pick (& keep that Protege) by the very end of elementary school, or at the end of middle school at most.
4. The average protege should be under the age of 9 or 10. At that age children stop viewing people a few grades above them as taller & superior
5. A great way to earn some child's respect is to save their life. For example, let's say it’s winter. Then you’re walking with a 2nd grader & then she slips on a piece of ice. You then catch her as she falls backwards, seconds before her head cracks. She then admires you because she is 3 grades below you & she follows your every command to this day.
6. Some Protege’s you might have for a few weeks, or months at most. But keep those precious 1 or 2 children with you & train them for years. From grades 5-9.
7. Make sure you & your Protege have similar interests. For example if my protege was a gamer, we would not get along. Unless he or she played my favourite game, in that case Welcome To The Family.
8. Lastly, always watch out for your Protege & guard them with your life.
So now you have a Protege. What’s next? Well you have your very own student. You’ll become great friends & your bonds will grow.
Enjoy!
Great Question! A Protege is basically a student/sidekick put together. Some people who are experts in life fear that one day they will die & no one will succeed them & take their place. Well, GET A PROTEGE! First you must choose someone to be your one on one personal student. Make sure they’re younger than you & that they aren’t young/conscious enough to doubt whatever you say. See my Protege is a 10-year-old Brunette. I decided to take her under my wing because she was bad at running. Now she is skilled enough to Naruto run into a wall. She still isn’t & never will be as fast as me though. But today I will give you some tips about how to get a protege.
- Wait until you’re in grade 5 or 6 until you get a protege. That way your unbiological little sibling will look up to you. Mainly because you're taller.
2. On average the best age difference is 2-4 grades. But you do you.
3. If you choose to have a Protege, make sure you pick (& keep that Protege) by the very end of elementary school, or at the end of middle school at most.
4. The average protege should be under the age of 9 or 10. At that age children stop viewing people a few grades above them as taller & superior
5. A great way to earn some child's respect is to save their life. For example, let's say it’s winter. Then you’re walking with a 2nd grader & then she slips on a piece of ice. You then catch her as she falls backwards, seconds before her head cracks. She then admires you because she is 3 grades below you & she follows your every command to this day.
6. Some Protege’s you might have for a few weeks, or months at most. But keep those precious 1 or 2 children with you & train them for years. From grades 5-9.
7. Make sure you & your Protege have similar interests. For example if my protege was a gamer, we would not get along. Unless he or she played my favourite game, in that case Welcome To The Family.
8. Lastly, always watch out for your Protege & guard them with your life.
So now you have a Protege. What’s next? Well you have your very own student. You’ll become great friends & your bonds will grow.
Enjoy!
Writing Prompt Responses by the Reality is Optional Writing Club
"Describe your favourite colour, without saying the colour.
The colour I'm describing is a cool colour in varying shades of darkness. This is the colour of many things: a bright, open sky; a deep, seemingly endless ocean; the colour of diamonds, of planets, and many more.
My favourite colour is the colour of things that are good. It is the colour of trees and grass. It is roughly in the middle of the rainbow. My favourite colour is the best colour because it is.
Like the ocean, majestic, flavourful, and bright. Blueberries, water, and eyes. So many things can be used to describe it, but, most importantly, it's the colour of your eyes.
Which would make a better weapon, a two legged stool or an apple the size of a car? Explain your reasoning.
Two legged stool. The apple would be too big, uncomfortable, and wouldn't kill as good. With the stool, you can make people go insane by not being able to sit, shove it down their throat, or throw it at them like a maniac.
A two legged stool is obviously way better because you can pick it up. An apple the size of a car would be too heavy to move and therefore useless. A two-legged stool is better for fighting, because you can use it as a sword, but it also has shield-like properties, so you can also be protected.
The apple the size of a car- because apple seeds contain poison, normally too little to do anything, but if the apple seeds grew along with the apple, there would almost certainly be enough poison in them to be used as a weapon.
Explain which is better: hotdogs, hamburgers, or grilled cheese. Why?
Burgers because my dad makes awesome ones, but fast-food burgers are gross and I feel bloated after. Homemade fries go great with it too. I enjoy burgers with lettuce, cheese, ketchup, sometimes mayo, and maybe tomato. Cheese buns are the best buns for it.
Grilled-cheese is the best because it is animal-free. Also, if you don't like grilled-cheese, you can just smother it in ketchup to hide the flavour. Hamburgers are the worst because there is so much meat and it is so overwhelming. Homemade hamburgers are even worse because they are always either burnt and black or practically still alive.
Grilled-cheese. Toasted bread and melting cheesy goodness. A match for the gods. There's nothing more to be said.
Write a diary entry from the perspective of a space vet.
Dear diary,
Today was a hard day at the Interstellar Vet Clinic. For one thing, our rocket clinic was heading through a particularly turbulent patch at the Milky Way, jolting it and making all the Martian Dogs skitter.
Day 0046,
Today I was operating on a puppy, but it kept floating away while I was trying to make my incision. I accidentally cut off its head, but I sewed it back on. It kind of still looks like it's alive, because it's still floating around. I'm waiting until someone notices.
Describe why cupcakes are demonic.
Cupcakes are like the devil on Earth, if the devil came in the form of a sugary, overly sweet dessert. Seriously. I swear cupcakes were invented by dentists to keep them in business. They are excessively sweet. The bright colours they come in make me want to gag. Cupcakes. Are. Terrible. End of story.
There is a certain type of cupcake that is demonic, because for some reason the bakers decide to hollow out the center of the cupcake and fill it with icing, so the cake-icing ratio is way off. Fortunately, the bakery that made them is now closed.
Write ten words. Then, write ten words about the ten words.
The thing said I was supposed to write ten words. I wrote ten more words because it said to woo.
Dog, Cat, Ear, Cannibalism, Food, Cheese, Marker, Table, Laptop, Sour
Animal, Dead, Body, Hungry, Cheese, Job, Cup, Device, Lice
Create some stupid movie tittles and premises.
Stuff Blows Up: Kaboomie
Stuff Blows Up 2: Twice as unrealistic
Man Runs Around: He so speedy
Gun-toting Fools: It's kill and be killed
The Quest For The Jewel 15: A totally not stereotypical action movie in a a series that's gone on for too long.
Synopsis: Our heavily muscled hero one day decides "Hey, I'm going to find a mystical jewel that's probably buried in the jungle somewhere." Not only will he have to face weirdly complex booby traps, but he will also be pursued by a bunch of personality-less villains whose only driving force is evil, for some reason.
Get your tickets for these movies now at: www.notstereotypicalmovies.com!
Some drawings to accompany our responses:
The colour I'm describing is a cool colour in varying shades of darkness. This is the colour of many things: a bright, open sky; a deep, seemingly endless ocean; the colour of diamonds, of planets, and many more.
My favourite colour is the colour of things that are good. It is the colour of trees and grass. It is roughly in the middle of the rainbow. My favourite colour is the best colour because it is.
Like the ocean, majestic, flavourful, and bright. Blueberries, water, and eyes. So many things can be used to describe it, but, most importantly, it's the colour of your eyes.
Which would make a better weapon, a two legged stool or an apple the size of a car? Explain your reasoning.
Two legged stool. The apple would be too big, uncomfortable, and wouldn't kill as good. With the stool, you can make people go insane by not being able to sit, shove it down their throat, or throw it at them like a maniac.
A two legged stool is obviously way better because you can pick it up. An apple the size of a car would be too heavy to move and therefore useless. A two-legged stool is better for fighting, because you can use it as a sword, but it also has shield-like properties, so you can also be protected.
The apple the size of a car- because apple seeds contain poison, normally too little to do anything, but if the apple seeds grew along with the apple, there would almost certainly be enough poison in them to be used as a weapon.
Explain which is better: hotdogs, hamburgers, or grilled cheese. Why?
Burgers because my dad makes awesome ones, but fast-food burgers are gross and I feel bloated after. Homemade fries go great with it too. I enjoy burgers with lettuce, cheese, ketchup, sometimes mayo, and maybe tomato. Cheese buns are the best buns for it.
Grilled-cheese is the best because it is animal-free. Also, if you don't like grilled-cheese, you can just smother it in ketchup to hide the flavour. Hamburgers are the worst because there is so much meat and it is so overwhelming. Homemade hamburgers are even worse because they are always either burnt and black or practically still alive.
Grilled-cheese. Toasted bread and melting cheesy goodness. A match for the gods. There's nothing more to be said.
Write a diary entry from the perspective of a space vet.
Dear diary,
Today was a hard day at the Interstellar Vet Clinic. For one thing, our rocket clinic was heading through a particularly turbulent patch at the Milky Way, jolting it and making all the Martian Dogs skitter.
Day 0046,
Today I was operating on a puppy, but it kept floating away while I was trying to make my incision. I accidentally cut off its head, but I sewed it back on. It kind of still looks like it's alive, because it's still floating around. I'm waiting until someone notices.
Describe why cupcakes are demonic.
Cupcakes are like the devil on Earth, if the devil came in the form of a sugary, overly sweet dessert. Seriously. I swear cupcakes were invented by dentists to keep them in business. They are excessively sweet. The bright colours they come in make me want to gag. Cupcakes. Are. Terrible. End of story.
There is a certain type of cupcake that is demonic, because for some reason the bakers decide to hollow out the center of the cupcake and fill it with icing, so the cake-icing ratio is way off. Fortunately, the bakery that made them is now closed.
Write ten words. Then, write ten words about the ten words.
The thing said I was supposed to write ten words. I wrote ten more words because it said to woo.
Dog, Cat, Ear, Cannibalism, Food, Cheese, Marker, Table, Laptop, Sour
Animal, Dead, Body, Hungry, Cheese, Job, Cup, Device, Lice
Create some stupid movie tittles and premises.
Stuff Blows Up: Kaboomie
Stuff Blows Up 2: Twice as unrealistic
Man Runs Around: He so speedy
Gun-toting Fools: It's kill and be killed
The Quest For The Jewel 15: A totally not stereotypical action movie in a a series that's gone on for too long.
Synopsis: Our heavily muscled hero one day decides "Hey, I'm going to find a mystical jewel that's probably buried in the jungle somewhere." Not only will he have to face weirdly complex booby traps, but he will also be pursued by a bunch of personality-less villains whose only driving force is evil, for some reason.
Get your tickets for these movies now at: www.notstereotypicalmovies.com!
Some drawings to accompany our responses: