Reality Is Optional's FEBRUARY E-ZINE!
In A World With Too Many Lame Princesses . . .
RIO PRESENTS KILL THE PRINCESS STORIES
Kill the princess by Lina
Nina the princess was at her house wishing she could go to tonight's ball, but she couldn't! She had so many chores! Her sisters and mother had already left and she was alone. She packed her stuff and prepared to leave but she didn't have a dress. Suddenly a witch appeared and said she could give her a magical dress. Nina said yes she would love to have a dress. The witch made a dress appear and she immediately put it on. After a couple of seconds the dress started to tighten and crush her. Her eyes popped out of her head and her organs spilled out of her mouth and then she died. The End
Kill Aurora by Madison
Once in a palace far away there was a new baby named Aurora that was so beautiful. Ten minutes later Maleficent arrived and cast a spell on her on her. “On your 16th birthday you will prick your finger on a spinning wheel and fall into a deep sleep and never wake up until true love's first kiss,” she said. But as the years went by she got so ugly that while she was in her deep sleep her Prince ran away and she never woke up again because of her ugliness.
Princess Report by George
For eight months now we have toiled at the princess’ demand. Our leader says we need to her for ransom, but she is so dazzlingly incompetent at every facet of life that we must guide her through every moment of the day. I for one cannot abide this. We were supposed to earn easy money ransoming her, but if her shrill, whiny voice tells me to get her one more thing, I will die on the spot! “Who will help me kill the princess today?”, The Evil Witch bellowed. The gremlin minions erupted with cheers as they ran up the stairs of the Colossal Tower tripping over each other to reach the princesses’ chamber. The door was locked, but the monstrous turning wave of gremlins smashed the iron door off its hinges. The princess barely had time to gasp before the Gremlins pulled, chewed, and scratched the princess into tiny bloody princess bits.
The Disney Empire by Eli
This princess was not part of the Disney Empire so her people made a deal with Disney. She sold her soul to the mouse and lived out her days. Eventually, the old princess died and a new princess was born where she joined the land of the many princesses in the Cinematic Universe.
Robert Jones by Peter
Princess Robert Jones was frolicking in the plentiful fields of her kingdom while reading a newspaper (distracted walking) when she saw the article about the Great Princess Massacres happening in the kingdom. “Darn!” she yelped in astonishment. Two bodyguards ran over to her, “We’ve got to go to the safe house!” they said. She gasped so unbelievably hard. Then she fainted and cracked her precious head on the grass.
Princess VS Donkey by Anna
One day princess was walking. She met a donkey
“Oooh, you're pretty. I'll pet you!”
“Don't touch me.” the donkey responded.
“Okay,” the princess said, but then she petted the donkey anyway and the donkey bit her and wouldn’t let go and she died.
Nina the princess was at her house wishing she could go to tonight's ball, but she couldn't! She had so many chores! Her sisters and mother had already left and she was alone. She packed her stuff and prepared to leave but she didn't have a dress. Suddenly a witch appeared and said she could give her a magical dress. Nina said yes she would love to have a dress. The witch made a dress appear and she immediately put it on. After a couple of seconds the dress started to tighten and crush her. Her eyes popped out of her head and her organs spilled out of her mouth and then she died. The End
Kill Aurora by Madison
Once in a palace far away there was a new baby named Aurora that was so beautiful. Ten minutes later Maleficent arrived and cast a spell on her on her. “On your 16th birthday you will prick your finger on a spinning wheel and fall into a deep sleep and never wake up until true love's first kiss,” she said. But as the years went by she got so ugly that while she was in her deep sleep her Prince ran away and she never woke up again because of her ugliness.
Princess Report by George
For eight months now we have toiled at the princess’ demand. Our leader says we need to her for ransom, but she is so dazzlingly incompetent at every facet of life that we must guide her through every moment of the day. I for one cannot abide this. We were supposed to earn easy money ransoming her, but if her shrill, whiny voice tells me to get her one more thing, I will die on the spot! “Who will help me kill the princess today?”, The Evil Witch bellowed. The gremlin minions erupted with cheers as they ran up the stairs of the Colossal Tower tripping over each other to reach the princesses’ chamber. The door was locked, but the monstrous turning wave of gremlins smashed the iron door off its hinges. The princess barely had time to gasp before the Gremlins pulled, chewed, and scratched the princess into tiny bloody princess bits.
The Disney Empire by Eli
This princess was not part of the Disney Empire so her people made a deal with Disney. She sold her soul to the mouse and lived out her days. Eventually, the old princess died and a new princess was born where she joined the land of the many princesses in the Cinematic Universe.
Robert Jones by Peter
Princess Robert Jones was frolicking in the plentiful fields of her kingdom while reading a newspaper (distracted walking) when she saw the article about the Great Princess Massacres happening in the kingdom. “Darn!” she yelped in astonishment. Two bodyguards ran over to her, “We’ve got to go to the safe house!” they said. She gasped so unbelievably hard. Then she fainted and cracked her precious head on the grass.
Princess VS Donkey by Anna
One day princess was walking. She met a donkey
“Oooh, you're pretty. I'll pet you!”
“Don't touch me.” the donkey responded.
“Okay,” the princess said, but then she petted the donkey anyway and the donkey bit her and wouldn’t let go and she died.
NEWS FROM THE RIO BUILDING by RIO
Real Famous Women You Didn't Know About
by RIO

- Fiona JH McGee invented toes
- Laura Wilson invented Comic Sans font, she was lost by history
- With her hair blowing in the wind behind her, Beth stood in front of her newest invention... The fan!!!
- Virginia discovered her cats pee smelled like hot buttered popcorn. She also was famous for the biggest butt and the smallest head.
- Alice Brooks and created ice cream because she felt she needed something to cool her down in her astonishing climate.
MEDIA CLUB PROJECTS
FIX THAT LIBRARY BOOKS by RIO Pod Crowfoot
MEET THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
To raise King Tut from the dead you need your soul, your money - preferably tens and twenties, a nose hair from your grandpa, and a toenail from your dad's older brother - or younger if you don't have one. Mix it all together and arise King Tut.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Allen
How to find one gem from the pyramid in ancient Egypt. You will probably need spells and the light of a full moon. You will also need a mummy and a spark of magic. You'll also have to throw a chicken at it, in the usual way.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Rachel
Ingredients:
Unicorn Blood
Bigfoot's foot hair
Your great grandmother's dream journal
Salt
Greek fire
Assemble all ingredients on top of the Tomb of the Egyptian. Light on fire with Greek Fire and RUN THE OTHER WAY! Greek Fire is deadly and ancient Egyptians do not want to be woken from the dead.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Nadia
Raising the dead, Egyptian Style
Ingredients: find jello to fill their brainless head, add technology and photos of Modern Life, add cat fur to appease them.
Chant: Mummy, Mummy, I raise the dead, I love the dead, but I want you alive. When you come to life I want you to (fill in the blank). Suggestions include hunt my enemy, be my friend, do my chores, become president/prime minister/bodyguard.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
In ancient Egypt there were some lawbreaking spells to bring back the dead to fight for you. To summon the dead first you have to make sacrifices to the God of Death, four tigers, and the corpse of a person you want to summon. Then you have to sacrifice inside some ancient ruins to finish. The summoning spell is the magic word, peanut butter.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
Nyazog Croca Nroz - Arise
In order to raise the ancient Egyptians from the dead you need to first find the body of the person you would like to resurrect. It will most likely be in a museum so you would have to get permission before doing this. Second, you will need to transport the body to Egypt and remove the bandages, if necessary. After that, you would need to pour water while saying nothing. After you finish pouring the water, you would need to dance very weirdly, by being like the air-men that you see outside. Then say, “Arise!” He / she would most likely not come up.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by George
To raise the dead and then meet an ancient Egyptian is a difficult task here is one example of how to do it. Find a mummy and crush it. Mix was sand. Melt in a furnace. Mold glass into a cat figurine. Now recite to the figurine raise the dead in Egyptian 357 times. Stomp on the figurine and look away because of the bright flash. In 5 Seconds you will be able to meet the Egyptian although it will be a cat person. If you want to turn the cat into a human please refer to, Meet the Cat People.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Emily
Raising Egyptians - Da Wae
You shall require:
Salt
Egyptian blue pigment
crocodile blood
5 candles
vodka (the sparkling kind). Not for the spell but to make you feel better about ripping a hole in the universe next line.
Arrange ingredients like the image below.
This will open a portal to another reality, where zombie Egyptians exist. They will take over the Earth, killing everything in sight. Not a good idea after all.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
To raise King Tut from the dead you need your soul, your money - preferably tens and twenties, a nose hair from your grandpa, and a toenail from your dad's older brother - or younger if you don't have one. Mix it all together and arise King Tut.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Allen
How to find one gem from the pyramid in ancient Egypt. You will probably need spells and the light of a full moon. You will also need a mummy and a spark of magic. You'll also have to throw a chicken at it, in the usual way.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Rachel
Ingredients:
Unicorn Blood
Bigfoot's foot hair
Your great grandmother's dream journal
Salt
Greek fire
Assemble all ingredients on top of the Tomb of the Egyptian. Light on fire with Greek Fire and RUN THE OTHER WAY! Greek Fire is deadly and ancient Egyptians do not want to be woken from the dead.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Nadia
Raising the dead, Egyptian Style
Ingredients: find jello to fill their brainless head, add technology and photos of Modern Life, add cat fur to appease them.
Chant: Mummy, Mummy, I raise the dead, I love the dead, but I want you alive. When you come to life I want you to (fill in the blank). Suggestions include hunt my enemy, be my friend, do my chores, become president/prime minister/bodyguard.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
In ancient Egypt there were some lawbreaking spells to bring back the dead to fight for you. To summon the dead first you have to make sacrifices to the God of Death, four tigers, and the corpse of a person you want to summon. Then you have to sacrifice inside some ancient ruins to finish. The summoning spell is the magic word, peanut butter.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by ?
Nyazog Croca Nroz - Arise
In order to raise the ancient Egyptians from the dead you need to first find the body of the person you would like to resurrect. It will most likely be in a museum so you would have to get permission before doing this. Second, you will need to transport the body to Egypt and remove the bandages, if necessary. After that, you would need to pour water while saying nothing. After you finish pouring the water, you would need to dance very weirdly, by being like the air-men that you see outside. Then say, “Arise!” He / she would most likely not come up.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by George
To raise the dead and then meet an ancient Egyptian is a difficult task here is one example of how to do it. Find a mummy and crush it. Mix was sand. Melt in a furnace. Mold glass into a cat figurine. Now recite to the figurine raise the dead in Egyptian 357 times. Stomp on the figurine and look away because of the bright flash. In 5 Seconds you will be able to meet the Egyptian although it will be a cat person. If you want to turn the cat into a human please refer to, Meet the Cat People.
Meet the Ancient Egyptians by Emily
Raising Egyptians - Da Wae
You shall require:
Salt
Egyptian blue pigment
crocodile blood
5 candles
vodka (the sparkling kind). Not for the spell but to make you feel better about ripping a hole in the universe next line.
Arrange ingredients like the image below.
This will open a portal to another reality, where zombie Egyptians exist. They will take over the Earth, killing everything in sight. Not a good idea after all.
HOW TO MAKE WORK WORK
(AKA: How to Eliminate Sunshine, Rainbows, and Kittens)
How to Make Work Work by George
Eliminate work distractions such as rainbows, unicorns, and kittens is an occult matter and you will need to know the basics.
Kittens: To eliminate kittens is a hard matter because the mass known only as the internet will kill you if you do. However, you can kill kittens by drowning, overdosing on catnip, and fire. Other than that, they are impossible to eliminate.
Sunshine and rainbows are difficult because either you will have to move underground or nuke the Sun.
How to Make Work Work by ?
To eliminate sunshine, rainbows, and kittens, spray paint the sun matte black. Spray paint the rainbow clear crystal. Destroy all cats off the face of the Earth.
How to Make Work Work by Allen
To eliminate rainbows, sunshine, and kittens you will need 10 skulls surrounding a star of red stuff (you can use Jam). Then find someone to stand in the middle and they will turn into a blue chicken and peck every kitten and then they will fly into the Sun and will turn into chicken nuggets.
How to Make Work Work by Rachel
Often times the world can be very distracting and counterproductive. You might find the following strategies helpful. 1, move to a black hole to eliminate Sunshine. 2, change all the windows in your house so as not to be tempted by the outside world. 3, Lie to all your friends about being allergic to cats so as not to come in contact with them. 4, Or even better, just don't have friends! Then you'll be extra productive.
How to Make Work Work by Nadia
How to eliminate Sunshine, rainbows, and kittens from the workplace. 1, break all windows and throw kittens outside. 2, cover windows in darkly painted steel-black preferably with a bullet proof seal. 3, put a bounty on leprechauns just in case a reflection would ever dare bring a hint of a rainbow. 4, sit in your dark pathetic office unhappily.
How to Make Work Work by Emily
Eliminate kittens via your local animal shelter. Or murder. Or explosions - nukes work best. Whatever floats your boat.
Easily eliminate Sunshine by a staring contest. You will easily win.
The rainbows will disappear along with the sun.
And now you wish you had a comfort kitten don't you, but you nuked them.
How to Make Work Work by ?
The way to completely eliminate rainbows, sunshine, and kittens from your life is to never go to pet stores, always wear sunglasses even when you go to sleep, and finally have a strong hypnotic effect put on yourself so when you see rainbows you'll think that they are just a black stoney cloud.
How to Make Work Work by ?
Making work work. To remove work distractions you must become one yourself. To remove Sunshine, dance in front of it. Kittens? Make yourself hate them. Rainbows are easy, live in Chad, Africa.
(AKA: How to Eliminate Sunshine, Rainbows, and Kittens)
How to Make Work Work by George
Eliminate work distractions such as rainbows, unicorns, and kittens is an occult matter and you will need to know the basics.
Kittens: To eliminate kittens is a hard matter because the mass known only as the internet will kill you if you do. However, you can kill kittens by drowning, overdosing on catnip, and fire. Other than that, they are impossible to eliminate.
Sunshine and rainbows are difficult because either you will have to move underground or nuke the Sun.
How to Make Work Work by ?
To eliminate sunshine, rainbows, and kittens, spray paint the sun matte black. Spray paint the rainbow clear crystal. Destroy all cats off the face of the Earth.
How to Make Work Work by Allen
To eliminate rainbows, sunshine, and kittens you will need 10 skulls surrounding a star of red stuff (you can use Jam). Then find someone to stand in the middle and they will turn into a blue chicken and peck every kitten and then they will fly into the Sun and will turn into chicken nuggets.
How to Make Work Work by Rachel
Often times the world can be very distracting and counterproductive. You might find the following strategies helpful. 1, move to a black hole to eliminate Sunshine. 2, change all the windows in your house so as not to be tempted by the outside world. 3, Lie to all your friends about being allergic to cats so as not to come in contact with them. 4, Or even better, just don't have friends! Then you'll be extra productive.
How to Make Work Work by Nadia
How to eliminate Sunshine, rainbows, and kittens from the workplace. 1, break all windows and throw kittens outside. 2, cover windows in darkly painted steel-black preferably with a bullet proof seal. 3, put a bounty on leprechauns just in case a reflection would ever dare bring a hint of a rainbow. 4, sit in your dark pathetic office unhappily.
How to Make Work Work by Emily
Eliminate kittens via your local animal shelter. Or murder. Or explosions - nukes work best. Whatever floats your boat.
Easily eliminate Sunshine by a staring contest. You will easily win.
The rainbows will disappear along with the sun.
And now you wish you had a comfort kitten don't you, but you nuked them.
How to Make Work Work by ?
The way to completely eliminate rainbows, sunshine, and kittens from your life is to never go to pet stores, always wear sunglasses even when you go to sleep, and finally have a strong hypnotic effect put on yourself so when you see rainbows you'll think that they are just a black stoney cloud.
How to Make Work Work by ?
Making work work. To remove work distractions you must become one yourself. To remove Sunshine, dance in front of it. Kittens? Make yourself hate them. Rainbows are easy, live in Chad, Africa.
HOW MOTHER NATURE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU by RIO Pod Crowfoot
How Mother Nature is trying to kill you: Animals, Ivy - strangling, trees - crushing, clowns - scary, dirt - veggies, letting you exist and making you know you're going to die, elevator music, too much snow, no heat - argh, Zeus trying to zap you, sneezing, a tree slapping you into the great canyon, grounding, smoking too much, other people, sinkholes, Ice Age, mummies, all natural disasters are trying to harm you specifically, grass is actually an evil mastermind, animals hate you - every last one, lions, tempting you into going outside - see lions, lack of serotonin and dopamine, high school, and musicals.
How Mother Nature is trying to kill you: Animals, Ivy - strangling, trees - crushing, clowns - scary, dirt - veggies, letting you exist and making you know you're going to die, elevator music, too much snow, no heat - argh, Zeus trying to zap you, sneezing, a tree slapping you into the great canyon, grounding, smoking too much, other people, sinkholes, Ice Age, mummies, all natural disasters are trying to harm you specifically, grass is actually an evil mastermind, animals hate you - every last one, lions, tempting you into going outside - see lions, lack of serotonin and dopamine, high school, and musicals.
TRUST WORKS by RIO Pod Crowfoot
Do not trust me, I will tell you why, no matter how hard I tried to convince you I could be lying so never trust anyone ever again. I am evil. Why I'm not to be trusted, if you sneeze I will kill you if you touch me. I don't want to be trusted because I am someone who loves Mother Nature. I have a dark secret I never brought to light, I eat candy at night. Lying has become easier than not lying. Backstabbing is my favorite art form. I want your candy. I can't be trusted because my sweet sweet demeanor is hiding a cruel cruel person underneath. I wonder when my baby sister is going to notice all her candy is gone. However, I will make you cookies, I will do everything that brings you joy, then I will spam your DM's with memes. Also occasionally murder.
Do not trust me, I will tell you why, no matter how hard I tried to convince you I could be lying so never trust anyone ever again. I am evil. Why I'm not to be trusted, if you sneeze I will kill you if you touch me. I don't want to be trusted because I am someone who loves Mother Nature. I have a dark secret I never brought to light, I eat candy at night. Lying has become easier than not lying. Backstabbing is my favorite art form. I want your candy. I can't be trusted because my sweet sweet demeanor is hiding a cruel cruel person underneath. I wonder when my baby sister is going to notice all her candy is gone. However, I will make you cookies, I will do everything that brings you joy, then I will spam your DM's with memes. Also occasionally murder.
THE PRICE OF FREEDOM
Buying Freedom by Nadia
Congratulations! You just bought Freedom! Here is your one way boat ticket to a desert island off the global sea radar. The price, living with what you've done. It will haunt you. I know it will.
The Cost of Freedom by ?
You need to spend money for a plane ticket to Canada and the USA to get it.
Mega-Freedom Super Store by George
1 Freedom mega pack.
100 flags $500.
50000 student debts
$50,000. 506 six packs $1000000.
Miscellaneous food $100. 500 guns and rifles $10,000
A microphone - free
Subtotal a gazillion dollars plus the Freedom Tax
The Price of Freedom by Allen
The price of freedom is over $9000.00. Every second you are in the store your ears will ring with the voice of Morgan Freeman.
The price of Freedom by ?
The thing about freedom is that free is in Freedom. So it's free. Only freedom is included.
The Price of Freedom by ?
Freedom is free because it is free - dom! DOM equals free.
The Receipt of Freedom by Rachel
Freedom $0.05
GST $7
PST $8
Freedom Tax $80
Carbon tax $9
HST $10
You're too rich $12
Tax for taxation sake $14
Final price! AAAAH!
Plastic bag not included.
No refunds.
Freedom Phone package by Emily
Freedom phone package: $9.99 per month. Terms include Tide Pods and regrets
Buying Freedom by Nadia
Congratulations! You just bought Freedom! Here is your one way boat ticket to a desert island off the global sea radar. The price, living with what you've done. It will haunt you. I know it will.
The Cost of Freedom by ?
You need to spend money for a plane ticket to Canada and the USA to get it.
Mega-Freedom Super Store by George
1 Freedom mega pack.
100 flags $500.
50000 student debts
$50,000. 506 six packs $1000000.
Miscellaneous food $100. 500 guns and rifles $10,000
A microphone - free
Subtotal a gazillion dollars plus the Freedom Tax
The Price of Freedom by Allen
The price of freedom is over $9000.00. Every second you are in the store your ears will ring with the voice of Morgan Freeman.
The price of Freedom by ?
The thing about freedom is that free is in Freedom. So it's free. Only freedom is included.
The Price of Freedom by ?
Freedom is free because it is free - dom! DOM equals free.
The Receipt of Freedom by Rachel
Freedom $0.05
GST $7
PST $8
Freedom Tax $80
Carbon tax $9
HST $10
You're too rich $12
Tax for taxation sake $14
Final price! AAAAH!
Plastic bag not included.
No refunds.
Freedom Phone package by Emily
Freedom phone package: $9.99 per month. Terms include Tide Pods and regrets
WE WILL SURVIVE
We Will Survive by Emily
You will survive because no one else will finish the chicken leftovers in the fridge. You will survive so you can beat your record of the amount of cookies eaten in one minute. You will survive because your mom wouldn't like you dying. You will survive until North Korea nukes you, or at least nuclear winter is also an option for death.
How to Survive by George
go to Arizona the safest place on Earth and freeze yourself in peanut brittle. Wake up in the year 3018. You will live forever - forever being until the Earth is new in 3019 with an H bomb from the mob.
How to survive before you die by Nadia
The easiest way to survive is to make sure your basic needs are met. You will need food, Water, Shelter, and the most important thing - remembering to breathe. Not in the meditating sort of way. Just breathe. Without breathing you will quickly realize that death is closer than you think.
How to survive by?
How to survive till your 50 to 90 years old. you've got freedom so you won't survive that long.
How to Survive by Allen
You need 10 computers, 10000 iPads, and a peanut butter sandwich with a side of over 9,000 of everything else in the world. In addition you will need one googolplex amount of chicken nuggets so that you will be overwhelmed with chicken nuggets. Your only friend is chicken nuggets, that will save everyone.
We Will Survive by?
You won't. Just die. You've lived long enough.
How to survive by?
Make millions and millions of clones and make them carry your memory so that when you get assassinated they will always be more clones to take your place.Then make them go out into the dangerous world and make them serve you until you're 90.
We will survive by Rachel
In order to survive I will live in an apocalypse bunker and hide eating canned meat so that I will be the sole survivor of the seemingly inevitable nuclear apocalypse. Once the apocalypse is over, I will go to the surface and hunt with my bow and arrow. The best part of this plan is that I will never see another human being again so I will not get murdered after stealing my sister's candy.
We Will Survive by Emily
You will survive because no one else will finish the chicken leftovers in the fridge. You will survive so you can beat your record of the amount of cookies eaten in one minute. You will survive because your mom wouldn't like you dying. You will survive until North Korea nukes you, or at least nuclear winter is also an option for death.
How to Survive by George
go to Arizona the safest place on Earth and freeze yourself in peanut brittle. Wake up in the year 3018. You will live forever - forever being until the Earth is new in 3019 with an H bomb from the mob.
How to survive before you die by Nadia
The easiest way to survive is to make sure your basic needs are met. You will need food, Water, Shelter, and the most important thing - remembering to breathe. Not in the meditating sort of way. Just breathe. Without breathing you will quickly realize that death is closer than you think.
How to survive by?
How to survive till your 50 to 90 years old. you've got freedom so you won't survive that long.
How to Survive by Allen
You need 10 computers, 10000 iPads, and a peanut butter sandwich with a side of over 9,000 of everything else in the world. In addition you will need one googolplex amount of chicken nuggets so that you will be overwhelmed with chicken nuggets. Your only friend is chicken nuggets, that will save everyone.
We Will Survive by?
You won't. Just die. You've lived long enough.
How to survive by?
Make millions and millions of clones and make them carry your memory so that when you get assassinated they will always be more clones to take your place.Then make them go out into the dangerous world and make them serve you until you're 90.
We will survive by Rachel
In order to survive I will live in an apocalypse bunker and hide eating canned meat so that I will be the sole survivor of the seemingly inevitable nuclear apocalypse. Once the apocalypse is over, I will go to the surface and hunt with my bow and arrow. The best part of this plan is that I will never see another human being again so I will not get murdered after stealing my sister's candy.
BEAUTIFUL MONEY
Beautiful Money by Rachel
People wonder how to holistically make money while being their beautiful selves. Well over the last few years I have been on a spiritual journey to make money. The first thing that you have to do is go on a cleanse. I recommend lemonade and maple syrup and cayenne pepper as this will cause you to puke and get everything that isn't beautiful out of your system then you can be on your way!
Beautiful money by?
Making money is beautiful. Make money beautiful, make beautiful money. You first need a beautiful pair of extra extra extra large socks and equip one of them beautifully on your beautiful head. Then drive a beautiful car to your local gun store and get a beautiful gun. Then go to the local bank and shout beautifully at the top of your lungs saying, “give me all your beautiful money!” After you get the beautiful money, return to your beautiful house. The end
Beautiful by?
How to make money beautifully - Google Google Google Google
How to beautifully make beautiful money by Allen
You beautifully will beautifully have to beautifully ask beautifully your beautiful mother.
How to make money beautifully by ?
go to a beautiful place called Banff and bring back some beautiful air held in beautiful containers, then go sell them in a beautiful country called China.
How to be a Money Magnet by Nadia
The most beautiful thing you can wear is a magnet suit. You can beautifully walk the streets and halls of public buildings a and suck beautiful coins from vending machines, pockets, and ATMs with the grace of a beautiful angel. You will of course go to jail. Beautiful sweet jail.
How to become a beautiful beautiful money magnet by George
Step one, a Magnetic Personality. Acquire beautiful magnets and rub them against yourself until you are magnetic. Step 2, Now Wear the money you can find this in the next step 3, at the banks. Step 4, now profit and run.
Beautiful money by Emily
beautifully cleanse your beautiful self until you beautifully find money that is a beautiful way of beautifully making more money beautifully. Then, beautifully dig your beautiful grave to a beautiful death and crawl beautifully into your beautiful casket and beautifully die in your beautiful grave. You were never beautiful after all.
Beautiful Money by Rachel
People wonder how to holistically make money while being their beautiful selves. Well over the last few years I have been on a spiritual journey to make money. The first thing that you have to do is go on a cleanse. I recommend lemonade and maple syrup and cayenne pepper as this will cause you to puke and get everything that isn't beautiful out of your system then you can be on your way!
Beautiful money by?
Making money is beautiful. Make money beautiful, make beautiful money. You first need a beautiful pair of extra extra extra large socks and equip one of them beautifully on your beautiful head. Then drive a beautiful car to your local gun store and get a beautiful gun. Then go to the local bank and shout beautifully at the top of your lungs saying, “give me all your beautiful money!” After you get the beautiful money, return to your beautiful house. The end
Beautiful by?
How to make money beautifully - Google Google Google Google
How to beautifully make beautiful money by Allen
You beautifully will beautifully have to beautifully ask beautifully your beautiful mother.
How to make money beautifully by ?
go to a beautiful place called Banff and bring back some beautiful air held in beautiful containers, then go sell them in a beautiful country called China.
How to be a Money Magnet by Nadia
The most beautiful thing you can wear is a magnet suit. You can beautifully walk the streets and halls of public buildings a and suck beautiful coins from vending machines, pockets, and ATMs with the grace of a beautiful angel. You will of course go to jail. Beautiful sweet jail.
How to become a beautiful beautiful money magnet by George
Step one, a Magnetic Personality. Acquire beautiful magnets and rub them against yourself until you are magnetic. Step 2, Now Wear the money you can find this in the next step 3, at the banks. Step 4, now profit and run.
Beautiful money by Emily
beautifully cleanse your beautiful self until you beautifully find money that is a beautiful way of beautifully making more money beautifully. Then, beautifully dig your beautiful grave to a beautiful death and crawl beautifully into your beautiful casket and beautifully die in your beautiful grave. You were never beautiful after all.
CARRY THE TIGER
How to carry a tiger by George
First drink chemicals that destroy pain receptors. Next pick up your tiger. Keep a strong grip with your dwindling limbs and keep going even if you have to do it with your teeth while doing the worm. One thing is sure you will stay with your tiger to your destination.
How to carry a tiger by Emily
Tigers are a no carry item on most commercial flights.
How to carry Tigers to the top of a mountain by Nadia
1, give it a meat peace offering.
2, rub its belly and tell it of the wonders of high altitude.
3, get a XXXL baby backpack and put the tiger inside.
4, strap to back and breathe in deeply when standing up.
5, don't forget to bring food and water for both of you in a wagon.
How To carry a tiger by Allen
to carry it tiger you first have to catch the tiger by the toe if he howls kick him slow then ask a tow truck to pull him up.
How to carry a tiger by?
Tame a tiger, kill it, put it on a stretcher and take its guts out, then skin it, take the skin and make a jacket.
How to carry a tiger by?
To carry a tiger up a mountain is easy, just go and find two musclely guys then ask them to carry it for you. After you get up with the tiger, push the guys off the mountain and run away.
How to carry a tiger up a mountain by Rachel
1, Sing Rock-a-bye Baby to your tiger
2, Rub its belly - Now it should be asleep
3, Call in any friend, colleague, acquaintance, or Shady neighbor who works for Vegas yet medicine government organization who is willing to help you. You need all the help you can get.
4, Carry the Tiger.
How to carry a tiger by George
First drink chemicals that destroy pain receptors. Next pick up your tiger. Keep a strong grip with your dwindling limbs and keep going even if you have to do it with your teeth while doing the worm. One thing is sure you will stay with your tiger to your destination.
How to carry a tiger by Emily
Tigers are a no carry item on most commercial flights.
How to carry Tigers to the top of a mountain by Nadia
1, give it a meat peace offering.
2, rub its belly and tell it of the wonders of high altitude.
3, get a XXXL baby backpack and put the tiger inside.
4, strap to back and breathe in deeply when standing up.
5, don't forget to bring food and water for both of you in a wagon.
How To carry a tiger by Allen
to carry it tiger you first have to catch the tiger by the toe if he howls kick him slow then ask a tow truck to pull him up.
How to carry a tiger by?
Tame a tiger, kill it, put it on a stretcher and take its guts out, then skin it, take the skin and make a jacket.
How to carry a tiger by?
To carry a tiger up a mountain is easy, just go and find two musclely guys then ask them to carry it for you. After you get up with the tiger, push the guys off the mountain and run away.
How to carry a tiger up a mountain by Rachel
1, Sing Rock-a-bye Baby to your tiger
2, Rub its belly - Now it should be asleep
3, Call in any friend, colleague, acquaintance, or Shady neighbor who works for Vegas yet medicine government organization who is willing to help you. You need all the help you can get.
4, Carry the Tiger.