RIO's JUNE E-ZINE
Saving Ants and The World
Ants Are Our Friends by Simone Scala-Conley
Pen & Panel Members as mixed up Sonic Characters
Kim – Gold Robotnic
Emily – Sonk the Carne Asada
Alex – Sonic the dot JPEG
Die – Super Sonic the dot JPEG
Rayna – Blonic the the Echidna
Connor – Super Sanic the Hegehog
Seb – Ivo the Hedgehog
Aimee – Sonic the Hedgehog
Peregrine – Big the Eggman
Jack – Silver the Carne Asada
Jamie – Silver the Robotnic
Kiera – Gold the Cold Steel
Emily – Sonk the Carne Asada
Alex – Sonic the dot JPEG
Die – Super Sonic the dot JPEG
Rayna – Blonic the the Echidna
Connor – Super Sanic the Hegehog
Seb – Ivo the Hedgehog
Aimee – Sonic the Hedgehog
Peregrine – Big the Eggman
Jack – Silver the Carne Asada
Jamie – Silver the Robotnic
Kiera – Gold the Cold Steel
RIO's ROGUE POETS
At the Can You Hear Me Now? High School Poetry Slam Finals
THE ROGUE POETS GROUP POETRY
by Alexis Kelly, Em Dubs, The Dark Lord, Robin Bowering,
and Delaney Nicole
THEY SAY
They say the Earth is dying
I say, so am I
They say Every time you use a paper a tree dies.
I ask why they print new school forms every year?
They say cell phones and social media are ruining everything
why do you complain about dying trees and omit smartphone screens that are the solution
They say we may have to go to Mars
Will they need welfare too?
They say Don’t let it stress you out
Stop stressing me out!
They say Listen to your parents
Only if they say something coherent.
Respect your elders
I will when elders respect me
Because they say treat others the way you wish to be treated.
They say “You have so much potential”
Shut up and let me disappoint you.
They say Just take your time
What time!?!?
Please, find it for me
(Exasperated) They say Go to Hell
I’m already there
No running in the halls
Get out of my way
They say You can’t write a novel in a month
you’re right, actually that’s true
They dare say Drawing and writing is easy
I suggest they watch me suffer.
They say that’s inappropriate
i say you’re inappropriate
It's a little immature
They say I’m hungry
i say Hi hungry, I'm dad
They say children are our future
Just wait until the uprising
They say Don’t use violence in the halls
(finger guns) They’re literally finger guns???
They say What are you doing with that sword
want to find out?
Calm down, we are just LARP ing.
What’s LARPing?
(Everyone shrugs)
They say Don’t swear.
F . . . wait, I see what you’re doing.
They say Canadians are always sorry
You’ll be sorry – sorry.
They say Marco
… Polo
They say, but seriously, what is LARPing?
Live action role playing duh.
They say aliens aren’t real
If they aren’t real, why am I here?
I, I gotta go.
They say Back in my day
I say Dinosaurs were still around.
They listened to cassette tapes and used their phones for talking.
They say internet says
NO! We are not going there!
You have to speak in French
Non! Je ne vais pas!!
They say You have no idea
I know, but neither do you!
They say face the facts
They say you'll never make it
Watch me
They say we’re not making sense
I say there are three Aztec dialects - men, women and corn!
No one speaks corn anymore except for me!
I want a translator!
They say a lot of things.
Here is what we say to them
We say Reality is Optional, join the club.
They say the Earth is dying
I say, so am I
They say Every time you use a paper a tree dies.
I ask why they print new school forms every year?
They say cell phones and social media are ruining everything
why do you complain about dying trees and omit smartphone screens that are the solution
They say we may have to go to Mars
Will they need welfare too?
They say Don’t let it stress you out
Stop stressing me out!
They say Listen to your parents
Only if they say something coherent.
Respect your elders
I will when elders respect me
Because they say treat others the way you wish to be treated.
They say “You have so much potential”
Shut up and let me disappoint you.
They say Just take your time
What time!?!?
Please, find it for me
(Exasperated) They say Go to Hell
I’m already there
No running in the halls
Get out of my way
They say You can’t write a novel in a month
you’re right, actually that’s true
They dare say Drawing and writing is easy
I suggest they watch me suffer.
They say that’s inappropriate
i say you’re inappropriate
It's a little immature
They say I’m hungry
i say Hi hungry, I'm dad
They say children are our future
Just wait until the uprising
They say Don’t use violence in the halls
(finger guns) They’re literally finger guns???
They say What are you doing with that sword
want to find out?
Calm down, we are just LARP ing.
What’s LARPing?
(Everyone shrugs)
They say Don’t swear.
F . . . wait, I see what you’re doing.
They say Canadians are always sorry
You’ll be sorry – sorry.
They say Marco
… Polo
They say, but seriously, what is LARPing?
Live action role playing duh.
They say aliens aren’t real
If they aren’t real, why am I here?
I, I gotta go.
They say Back in my day
I say Dinosaurs were still around.
They listened to cassette tapes and used their phones for talking.
They say internet says
NO! We are not going there!
You have to speak in French
Non! Je ne vais pas!!
They say You have no idea
I know, but neither do you!
They say face the facts
They say you'll never make it
Watch me
They say we’re not making sense
I say there are three Aztec dialects - men, women and corn!
No one speaks corn anymore except for me!
I want a translator!
They say a lot of things.
Here is what we say to them
We say Reality is Optional, join the club.
TIME
It passed before I knew it was there
I already forgot who I was, where I was
What it looked like the day I finally saw it.
But I do remember
How the seconds hit the concrete like rain
Sounded like it too, puddles of wormholes
Water then froze in the air
And never touched the ground
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
If train A and train B both leave my brain at 8:00
When will I finally wake up?
If time ticks as loud as it does
Why doesn’t it just shut up?
It needs to slow and give me time to breathe
When, when, WHEN will my lungs finally open up?
I’m stuck in limbo, waiting for consciousness
While time keeps ticking down to a deadline
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
Time is the worst.
It just keeps going
I’m pretty sure, that in time, time may kill me.
Death is a clacking, creaking old man, a windup machine,
Whose key hangs on marionette strings, cut by cogs
We shall meet in due time.
But it’s striking twelve and I have to go
Falling through the looking glass,
Cinderella no more
One second left.
And the rabbit’s gone.
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
This is my manifesto to the cogs
A raised fist to clockwork control
I ask the hands for an answer.
All they do is press forward
They won’t let me rest, won’t let me breathe,
This is the end
[*Breathe*]
It passed before I knew it was there
The seconds hit the concrete like rain
Puddles of wormholes, water froze in the air
And never touched the ground
It passed before I knew it was there
I already forgot who I was, where I was
What it looked like the day I finally saw it.
But I do remember
How the seconds hit the concrete like rain
Sounded like it too, puddles of wormholes
Water then froze in the air
And never touched the ground
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
If train A and train B both leave my brain at 8:00
When will I finally wake up?
If time ticks as loud as it does
Why doesn’t it just shut up?
It needs to slow and give me time to breathe
When, when, WHEN will my lungs finally open up?
I’m stuck in limbo, waiting for consciousness
While time keeps ticking down to a deadline
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
Time is the worst.
It just keeps going
I’m pretty sure, that in time, time may kill me.
Death is a clacking, creaking old man, a windup machine,
Whose key hangs on marionette strings, cut by cogs
We shall meet in due time.
But it’s striking twelve and I have to go
Falling through the looking glass,
Cinderella no more
One second left.
And the rabbit’s gone.
[tick tock tick toc tick toc]
This is my manifesto to the cogs
A raised fist to clockwork control
I ask the hands for an answer.
All they do is press forward
They won’t let me rest, won’t let me breathe,
This is the end
[*Breathe*]
It passed before I knew it was there
The seconds hit the concrete like rain
Puddles of wormholes, water froze in the air
And never touched the ground
WELCOME TO THE PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM
Welcome to the public education system
Our marionette strings come in one size fits all -
- It’s okay, we’ll make you fit them
Welcome to hell, I mean, the public education system
We just want you to be smart and successful,
so here are five hundred pages to know by heart- for tomorrow!
Not to mention, there will be standardized tests to make sure you’ve learned it!
We think you’re stupid -
But we expect you to know
50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 percent is a pass now
Because we’re trying to fix your stupidity!
If something is late by two minutes, it will get a zero
Oh, what? You pulled an all-nighter just to get this done?
Guess what - now we have a no-zero policy!
But remember, once you’re at a REAL job, they won’t accept your excuses!
You are a work horse- so giddy up
And if you take time to lead your horse to water it will put you behind three classes
Because HORSE TRAINING IS NOT A VIABLE JOB!
Our policy is as weak as our morals-
We have principals without principles
And they say those who can’t do, teach -
And those who can’t teach become administrators!
But, your grades still need to stay high
And we mean high
Even higher than the boys in the locker room!
- Yeah, that’s right, we know!
Welcome to the experiment!
No taping things to your locker,
It may leave a sticky residue for bitterness to attach to
We’d hate for the hate to spread
We don’t want new kids to see it
If they do, they might choose to show the world
People can’t know our secrets
Like how we don’t have the money to buy any sports equipment,
Or new brushes for art classes,
“But what about all the student fees?”
Shhhh, that’s another secret.
No bullying is tolerated – you see, it’s just schoolyard play,
and we will leave you to fix it yourself
Sometimes we help
But we can’t guarantee the results
We take no responsibility – you signed the waiver
We’re not homophobic but it’s not our fault if you are inherently disordered
All girls get success in a dress but dress code rules supreme
Boys will stay all day, but girls will go home
Even all girls’ schools have dress codes
Because shoulders are showing and everyone gets distracted
Girls can like girls too -
See, we support your disorder!
We treasure our objects, especially our girls.
And now, make sure you remember this poem
And all the information it contains
You will be expected to repeat it verbatim on demand -
Extra credit for reciting it in Latin!
Welcome to the public education system – enjoy your stay!
Welcome to the public education system
Our marionette strings come in one size fits all -
- It’s okay, we’ll make you fit them
Welcome to hell, I mean, the public education system
We just want you to be smart and successful,
so here are five hundred pages to know by heart- for tomorrow!
Not to mention, there will be standardized tests to make sure you’ve learned it!
We think you’re stupid -
But we expect you to know
50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 percent is a pass now
Because we’re trying to fix your stupidity!
If something is late by two minutes, it will get a zero
Oh, what? You pulled an all-nighter just to get this done?
Guess what - now we have a no-zero policy!
But remember, once you’re at a REAL job, they won’t accept your excuses!
You are a work horse- so giddy up
And if you take time to lead your horse to water it will put you behind three classes
Because HORSE TRAINING IS NOT A VIABLE JOB!
Our policy is as weak as our morals-
We have principals without principles
And they say those who can’t do, teach -
And those who can’t teach become administrators!
But, your grades still need to stay high
And we mean high
Even higher than the boys in the locker room!
- Yeah, that’s right, we know!
Welcome to the experiment!
No taping things to your locker,
It may leave a sticky residue for bitterness to attach to
We’d hate for the hate to spread
We don’t want new kids to see it
If they do, they might choose to show the world
People can’t know our secrets
Like how we don’t have the money to buy any sports equipment,
Or new brushes for art classes,
“But what about all the student fees?”
Shhhh, that’s another secret.
No bullying is tolerated – you see, it’s just schoolyard play,
and we will leave you to fix it yourself
Sometimes we help
But we can’t guarantee the results
We take no responsibility – you signed the waiver
We’re not homophobic but it’s not our fault if you are inherently disordered
All girls get success in a dress but dress code rules supreme
Boys will stay all day, but girls will go home
Even all girls’ schools have dress codes
Because shoulders are showing and everyone gets distracted
Girls can like girls too -
See, we support your disorder!
We treasure our objects, especially our girls.
And now, make sure you remember this poem
And all the information it contains
You will be expected to repeat it verbatim on demand -
Extra credit for reciting it in Latin!
Welcome to the public education system – enjoy your stay!
The Rogue Poet's, The Dark Lord, won the Can You Hear Me Now? design contest with her logo for next year. Congrats!
RIO WRITES - THE YYC KIDS FEST TWITTER STORY
DISCOUNT SUPERHEROES by RIO Pod Crowfoot
Pen & Panel Recommends
ComicsShowsAnime
- Isshuukan Friends (One Week Friends)
GOAT POEM by RIO Prime
RIO POD CROWFOOT - Shrinking things and people
Grep woke up on the floor. He could’ve sworn he slept on the bed, and he’d never fallen off. “Huh,” Grep said, “that’s weird. Guess I should make my bed.” But as he turned around, he heard a snap. He looked down and saw the remnants of his bed. “What the frick-frack!” he screamed. Grep backed away stepping on something else. This time he heard a scream. Horrified he saw his dead family, but his dog was huge, so he didn’t really care.
Warm fricks,
Franz
You woke up. Crap! There goes your bed and your games and your Krave* (Buy now for a limited offer – TWO for $80.00) Wait! What? Your school shrinks to nothing too. Whoo- hoo! Everything shrinks, including your trusty teddy bear.
- Riley Korbage
You woke up to find that you weren't lying in your bed. Instead you must`ve fallen asleep on the floor. Something pokes you in the back and you sit up to check what it is. You find that it almost looks like doll furniture. You take a closer look and see it`s your actual bed.
- Janaya H.
DAY 5:
I’ve been trapped in this giant house for far too long. Many fruitless hours have been spent trying to figure out if I am small or everything is big. Yesterday, it took me forever to climb out of the sink. I mean, I was thirsty! Everything is so boring. There’s nothing to do – no books to read, no video games to play. I tried crawling under the dresser for fun but it was way to dusty, so the idea of exploring the house under a new light is out.
I think I’m going to die before I ever get big. Eventually the food I actually have access to will run out. Or I’ll die of my own stink. Do you know what five days of no showering does to a person? Let’s not even talk about what I do when I need to pee. Not to mention the nightmares I’ve been having about pennies.
- Charlotte
Warm fricks,
Franz
You woke up. Crap! There goes your bed and your games and your Krave* (Buy now for a limited offer – TWO for $80.00) Wait! What? Your school shrinks to nothing too. Whoo- hoo! Everything shrinks, including your trusty teddy bear.
- Riley Korbage
You woke up to find that you weren't lying in your bed. Instead you must`ve fallen asleep on the floor. Something pokes you in the back and you sit up to check what it is. You find that it almost looks like doll furniture. You take a closer look and see it`s your actual bed.
- Janaya H.
DAY 5:
I’ve been trapped in this giant house for far too long. Many fruitless hours have been spent trying to figure out if I am small or everything is big. Yesterday, it took me forever to climb out of the sink. I mean, I was thirsty! Everything is so boring. There’s nothing to do – no books to read, no video games to play. I tried crawling under the dresser for fun but it was way to dusty, so the idea of exploring the house under a new light is out.
I think I’m going to die before I ever get big. Eventually the food I actually have access to will run out. Or I’ll die of my own stink. Do you know what five days of no showering does to a person? Let’s not even talk about what I do when I need to pee. Not to mention the nightmares I’ve been having about pennies.
- Charlotte
Please Don't Embarrass Me Tonight
Dialogues by RIO
Dialogue one:
A: Why did you have to embarrass me like that?
B: Cause it was the only way to get the coins of your dreams!
A: But I like the coins!!
B: I was getting the coins for you!
A: But I am a strong independent woman! I can do it myself!
B: Can I call you a le poisson?
A: Non!
B: Can I tell you that embarrassment and leotards are legal?
A: But the coins could buy a leotard.
B: I said you could go buy some leotards. I am angry to no end! Bye!
Dialogue two:
A: Why did you have to embarrass me like that?
B: I had to make that pun though?
A: But puns are terrible!
B: Buttt duuuude!!! It was good!
A: No, it was terrible.
B: You have no taste.
A: Actually you have no taste.
B: FIGHT ME LINDA!
A: I’ll fight you with my memes
B: Would you like some of this hot chocolaty mix?
A: No. I’m scared goodbye.
A: Why did you have to embarrass me like that?
B: Cause it was the only way to get the coins of your dreams!
A: But I like the coins!!
B: I was getting the coins for you!
A: But I am a strong independent woman! I can do it myself!
B: Can I call you a le poisson?
A: Non!
B: Can I tell you that embarrassment and leotards are legal?
A: But the coins could buy a leotard.
B: I said you could go buy some leotards. I am angry to no end! Bye!
Dialogue two:
A: Why did you have to embarrass me like that?
B: I had to make that pun though?
A: But puns are terrible!
B: Buttt duuuude!!! It was good!
A: No, it was terrible.
B: You have no taste.
A: Actually you have no taste.
B: FIGHT ME LINDA!
A: I’ll fight you with my memes
B: Would you like some of this hot chocolaty mix?
A: No. I’m scared goodbye.
RIO POD CROWFOOT - Fear The Darkness
It’s suddenly getting darker. The elevator keeps descending, descending, occasionally creaking to a stop, halting for a few seconds before it continues slowly. Whoever decided to make this out of glass knew which emotion they wanted to evoke – fear. There is nothing below but darkness swirling in on itself, ready to devour everything and anything, and yet the elevator never reaches it.
The journey began in what most think to be darkness, but that is only simple dark. Sure, focus is needed to see far away, but one can walk without crashing, one is not surrounded by black so pure and so suffocating it feels like being completely ripped away from everything.
Nothing is worse than the agony of nothing. There will be nothing as the elevator descends – the light is taken away so, so slowly. The first time the death trap stalled, jilted with such a thud the red light of the buttons died out, along with the last hopes.
There’s a different creak this time, coming from in front, like two large pieces of rock being pulled apart. Was . . . was it happening? Had you reached the bottom of this pit?
- Charlotte
A shadowy figure appears in the darkness before the school goes completely dark. “Why did I forget my binder?” Cat whispers to herself. She runs in fear toward the opposite end of the hallway. She decides if she doesn’t look behind her then, maybe it’s not really there. She runs outside and breathes deeply. She finally turns to see a shadow and she screams in fear. She hears a meow and sees that a cat was making the shadow the whole time.
- Janaya H.
The Edge was first dismissed as a weird cloud, but as it consumed civilizations, people realized it wasn’t a bunch of science mumbo-jumbo, it was the tears of all upper middle-class emo kids with loving parents and friends. It infected everyone, transforming even the happiest of people into whining tumlerinas, who only have grunge posts, and wallow in their self-pity. After days of trying to fight the back, the Edge had taken over the world.
Warm fricks,
Franz
You walk down a staircase, uggging. Then you look at the clock. 2:00 AM You ‘ve been waking down for twelve hours. You look over and realize you are on the impossible staircase.
- Riley Korbage
The journey began in what most think to be darkness, but that is only simple dark. Sure, focus is needed to see far away, but one can walk without crashing, one is not surrounded by black so pure and so suffocating it feels like being completely ripped away from everything.
Nothing is worse than the agony of nothing. There will be nothing as the elevator descends – the light is taken away so, so slowly. The first time the death trap stalled, jilted with such a thud the red light of the buttons died out, along with the last hopes.
There’s a different creak this time, coming from in front, like two large pieces of rock being pulled apart. Was . . . was it happening? Had you reached the bottom of this pit?
- Charlotte
A shadowy figure appears in the darkness before the school goes completely dark. “Why did I forget my binder?” Cat whispers to herself. She runs in fear toward the opposite end of the hallway. She decides if she doesn’t look behind her then, maybe it’s not really there. She runs outside and breathes deeply. She finally turns to see a shadow and she screams in fear. She hears a meow and sees that a cat was making the shadow the whole time.
- Janaya H.
The Edge was first dismissed as a weird cloud, but as it consumed civilizations, people realized it wasn’t a bunch of science mumbo-jumbo, it was the tears of all upper middle-class emo kids with loving parents and friends. It infected everyone, transforming even the happiest of people into whining tumlerinas, who only have grunge posts, and wallow in their self-pity. After days of trying to fight the back, the Edge had taken over the world.
Warm fricks,
Franz
You walk down a staircase, uggging. Then you look at the clock. 2:00 AM You ‘ve been waking down for twelve hours. You look over and realize you are on the impossible staircase.
- Riley Korbage